Random Thoughts While Eating Clam Chowder
Who was the first person to eat a clam? There's really nothing about a clam that convincingly resembles "food." It's a hard shell with something resembling phlegm inside.
And yet, at some point in history, someone put one in his mouth and swallowed it. Was culinary history made by the equivalent of that kid on your grade school playground who would eat a bug for a quarter? Was it more of a hazing incident that had a surprisingly tasty upside? Was someone starving on a desert island and it was either eat a clam or feed the seagulls with your own carcass?
Of course, when you think about it eating a lobster is even less probable. They look like giant sea cockroaches. They're even uglier than crabs, and that's saying something.
On the other hand, some sea creatures look like tasty food without even trying. Unfortunately these are called dolphins, and we're not supposed to eat them for some reason. But seriously... tell me you never thought about carving a nice juicy steak out of Flipper and tossing it on the grill. Forget your clichés about tasting like chicken. That has to taste pretty special.
Dolphins are supposed to be pretty smart. I'll bet they think about eating us all the time, so we shouldn't feel guilty about doing the same. It's not like thinking about eating a manatee, which I confess I do feel guilty for wondering about.
And yet, at some point in history, someone put one in his mouth and swallowed it. Was culinary history made by the equivalent of that kid on your grade school playground who would eat a bug for a quarter? Was it more of a hazing incident that had a surprisingly tasty upside? Was someone starving on a desert island and it was either eat a clam or feed the seagulls with your own carcass?
Of course, when you think about it eating a lobster is even less probable. They look like giant sea cockroaches. They're even uglier than crabs, and that's saying something.
On the other hand, some sea creatures look like tasty food without even trying. Unfortunately these are called dolphins, and we're not supposed to eat them for some reason. But seriously... tell me you never thought about carving a nice juicy steak out of Flipper and tossing it on the grill. Forget your clichés about tasting like chicken. That has to taste pretty special.
Dolphins are supposed to be pretty smart. I'll bet they think about eating us all the time, so we shouldn't feel guilty about doing the same. It's not like thinking about eating a manatee, which I confess I do feel guilty for wondering about.
Posted by Doug Williams on
Monday January 15, 2007 at 1:01pm
Most disgusting food I've ever ingested -- Sea Urchin, at a local Sushi Bar. In my defense it was at the recommendation of an attractive Japanese girl I was with.
Hey, maybe that's the answer to how eating clams started.
Nevermind what possessed them to start churning in the first place.
This does remind me of Roy Blount, Jr's poem about eating oysters. It's a favorite of mine and I'll include it here from memory so it might be off by a couple of words:
I like to eat an uncooked oyster,
nothing's slicker, nothing's moister,
nothing's easier on your gorge,
or when the time comes, to dischorge.
But when in your mouth it's best,
not to let it too long rest,
for if your mind dwells on an oyster,
nothing's slicker, nothing's moister.
I prefer my oyster fried, 'cause then I know,
my oyster's died!