Bogus Gold

My reality television addiction is fed during the summer months by a trio of reality cooking shows: Bravo's Top Chef, Fox's Hell's Kitchen, and The Food Network's The Next Food Network Star.

Of the three Hell's Kitchen probably makes the best television, but Top Chef is far more food-centric. And since I tend to be hungry more often than I get the desire to work in a restaurant ever again I've come to prefer it.

Last night they had an interesting new gimmick as a lead in to the beginning of their third season. They pitted the top 4 chefs from each of the first two seasons against one another in a "which season was the best?" contest.

Things we learned:


Season 2 chefs remain completely hair-crazy.

Stephen from Season One is even more insufferably arrogant than Marcel from Season Two, but he's learned to use it in a significantly less socially debilitating manner.

Champion or no, Ilan still can't cook anything other than Spanish food.

Season 1 chefs actually have the ability to work together. That would be less impressive save for Season 2's chefs complete lack of ability to do the same.

After being unfairly dinged for using too much foam in the course of Season 2 (a review of the episodes shows he didn't do them nearly as much as he was accused), he has now let foam completely obsess his culinary style.

Tiffany's dishes remain as attractive to the eye as she herself is not.

Sam still seems far more competent in the kitchen than anyone else from Season 2. So much so that it's almost painful to watch the other three not have to take direction from him.

Dave from Season 1 is the gayest man I have ever seen arguing for a meat and potatoes culinary approach, eshewing considerations of style.

Season 1 champion Harold still hasn't opened his restaurant? Dude... the buzz you get from winning a national show only lasts so long. Try to get that open before the series is canceled.

I think I seriously underrated Elia during Season 2. I now think a Season 2 showdown between Elia and Sam would have made a better finale than any other.

We also learned that, save for Ilan trying to cook non-Spanish food (which, to reiterate, he cannot do) we would have had a tie. Because the winner of Season 1, Harold committed an unforced error, turning duck into some sort of lumpy brown thing in a bowl that did not impress. As it was, Ilan tried to cook something that sort of sounded appealing before realizing he didn't actually have the time to complete it. Then he tried to turn it into something else. And then - inexplicably - at the last minute he added a raw egg yolk. It didn't go over any better than that description sounded.

Anyway, this whole thing was a lead in for the upcoming Season 3. Looking forward to it.