Bogus Gold

First a quick reaction to last week's elimination: told you so! Now on to this week...

Amanda Overmyer lead us off with "Back in the U.S.S.R." It's a whimsical song, combining Bryan Wilson's distinctive "Beach Boys" sound with intentionally ironic lyrics lauding the imagined beauty of the almost entirely gray and unattractive women under the former Soviet empire, which is itself a parody of the Beach Boys' song "California Girls." Did Amanda understand any of that? Not as far as it showed. I loved her last week. This week she delivered what I can only describe as a formulaic approach which she could apply to pretty much any song you slap in front of her. It had the rocker shouting. And the driving beat. And the prowling the stage. And nothing you haven't seen before. The only original takes it took in the arrangement were to drive all the humor and fun out of it. She might as well have been singing lyrics like "Bagels taste pretty good to me," or "In 13th century Belgrade, stuff happened." It wouldn't have mattered. She was just shouting stuff with no interest in whatever it might mean. Otherwise a totally average Amanda performance.

Stupidest judge comment: Randy Jackson "This is a perfect song choice for you."

Kristy Lee Cook came next with a MUCH better song choice this week in "You've Got to Hide Your Love Away." Last week she was a total arrangement casualty, doing the Hee-haw version of a well known tune. This week? This week we avoided Hee-haw... in favor of Riverdance. I'm serious... it had everything you see in Riverdance - including her outfit - except the clogging, and I kept expecting that to break out any minute. Does Ricky Minor hate this girl or something? I'm having trouble even focusing on her singing at all due to the absurdity of these arrangements. That said, the singing was boring and off key in places. I know a lot of people like this girl, but how long can she survive like this?

Cleverest judge comment: Simon Cowell "It's like musical wallpaper."

David Archuleta descended from teen-beat heaven to grace us with "The Long and Winding Road" next. I think R-Five picked this one for him in the comments section last week, and it certainly suited him perfectly. The good: Well it was a very good performance of a classic song that well suited his voice and catered to all his strengths. The bad: It was the very definition of the word "safe." We already knew everything about David Archuleta this performance showed us. Obviously he was intent on digging himself out of the slight hole his underwhelming performance last week created. And this definitely did that. In fact, on a night when the rest of the field was below their average, this stands out as one of the best. That being said... that's only because the rest of the field performed below average. Good? Yes, undeniably. Interesting? Not really. Past Idol contestant it most resembled: Clay Aiken - who Simon would have ripped for delivering this same performance.

Stupidest judge comment: Paula Abdul "This probably, for me, is the most exciting and wonderful performance because the purity of who you are and what your sound is is very identifiable."

Michael Johns followed with "A Day in the Life." It was a risk in part because the song is both well known and rather long. And this week the Idolateers were confined to 90 second performances... have to get in those product placements and commercials after all. 90 seconds times 11 contestants means (calculating) ... about 7.3 percent of the 2 hour show consisted of actual singing. Could they have maybe sprung for 10 percent? Would that much kill the franchise? Anyway... once you got past the extreme compression of the song arrangement, I actually liked this one. It very much worked for me this week. Last week the judges praised him to the skies when I thought he totally missed the mark. This week they tore him to pieces over a performance I found among the better of the night. Despite his typical difficulty finding the right notes at times, he was cool and composed and, contra Amanda this week, seemed to convey a lot of the meaning and emotion behind the lyrics - compressed though they were as we have already noted, and despite seeming to forget them near the end of the song. In a down week for most everyone it made little sense to me that this was one of the performances they singled out as especially awful.

Stupidest judge comment: All - the moment they started speaking until they wisely shut up again.

Brooke White went next with "Here Comes the Sun," opening the song book into George Harrison territory. At first I thought this was a pretty good song choice for her. Then she proved me horribly, horribly wrong. Brooke was back to creeping me out by smiling so much she HAD to be covering some horrible psycho-killer tendencies (bringing to mind a really cool Idol theme that will never be: Talking Heads week). And, you know, a five year old who chose to focus completely on the "sun" imagery in the song by dressing in yellow and acting all "sunny" in her awkward movement would be cute. In Brooke? It was like "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane," meeting "I Married an Axe Murderer." And she axe murdered the song vocally at times too, keeping in theme. Seriously, she started delivering it sitting on the stairs in a nice subdued manner... then her pitch started to wander... then... the hell of a thousand suns exploded on stage. Icky.

Most surreal judge comment: Simon "It was wet."

David Cook changed things up a bit next with "Day Tripper." If David Cook intends to make us hate the other contestants a bit more each week by providing a sharp contrast, he's doing a nice job of it. If he actually means to win this thing, he needs to suck up to Simon more and maybe drink the blood of David Archuleta in some act of Idol vampirism. That aside, far and away the best of the night here. FAR and away. He claimed to be copying the White Snake arrangement of the song, but he actually broke out the Peter Frampton voice box near the end which lead to me yelling to the television "David Cook comes Alive!" Total awesome sauce. Wildly unnecessary and over the top in all the best senses of those things. And he continues to accompany himself on electric guitar not just as a gimmick - but to do it well, and perform better because of it. Simon freaked the hell out on him in his comments for absolutely no reason other than Simon's own ego, which is hardly a new thing. This was leagues better than David Archuleta's previous Simon-dubbed "master class," despite holding fewer marketing opportunities for the Idol empire to franchise later on.

Stupidest judge comment: Simon "You looked a bit smug throughout." (*gasp* A sneering rocker! whoever heard of such a thing?!)

Carly Smithson followed a hard to follow act with "Blackbird." This was a week when Brooke and Carly should have traded songs. Not so much because Carly did this one poorly as her song choice hardly mattered, considering the way she stylized and sang it. And it might have rescued Brooke from her solarcide of a performance. Anyway... Carly chose this one to show off the strength of her lower register she said. And it did. But I guess I didn't realize she hadn't shown it off before because I've praised her for it a couple of times previously. I guess by this she meant "I won't even USE the upper range of which I am capable this week." If so... um... why? Carly's hook in this field is that she has a fabulously good voice with incredible range. That and the tattoos, I guess. Any week she doesn't show it is a week she loses a little distinction. So... despite being a perfectly good singing performance, this one left me underwhelmed and wanting more. That said... the judges were again way off base here, and I'm wondering if the sound in that new studio has them hearing what is actually being broadcast. Simon went into a little hissy fit about the song choice being "indulgent," which didn't even make sense in the context of his own commentary. Really on any objective basis Carly and David Cook are delivering some of the best performances and getting the back of Simon's hand more regularly than anything that can be remotely justified.

Stupidest judge comment: Randy "Cooliosis!"

Jason Castro followed with the night's weirdest song choice in "Michelle." Jason doesn't speak French. Much of the song's lyrics are in French. He put in a lot of effort learning how to pronounce them properly. Wouldn't that effort have been better served being channeled into the performance itself? This one the judges actually pegged right. I like Jason a lot, but he was totally cruising on his charm alone on this one. Luckily for him his charm is considerable so he should remain safe because nothing about this performance save for his serviceable pronunciation of French lyrics was very notable. Last week was pretty much everything I like about Jason delivered in a not terribly memorable fashion. This week it was almost everything I don't like about him... the pitch problems; the way he struggles in stage presentation without his guitar; the lack of much vocal power or control... but, luckily this time, still not very memorable. I don't know why he struggles so much with Beatles songs. So many seem like such natural fits for him, yet I can't help thinking he's glad they're over. I'm glad he's over doing them anyway.

Most unexpectedly accurate judge comment: Paula "It was an intimate song that became more like a polka."

Syesha Mercado came out next singing "Yesterday." In a week where the intro-video theme was "most memorable Idol moment so far," Syesha chose last week's appearance in the bottom three. I thought she looked obviously pissed off about that whole thing, and she just confirmed it in a big way. I thought she had some fight in her, and I'm glad to see it coming out at last. Yesterday is the most covered Beatles song ever, and is available in almost any arrangement you could ask for. Syesha asked for something soft and subdued with Diva power notes. Much like David A., she was running home to her safe zone. Also much like him, she knocked it out of the park. Unlike David A. though, Syesha truly needed this because her continual lack of a personality spark despite her obvious talent is threatening an early booting. Anyway there was very little to criticize here. Vocally flawless. Atypically (for her so far) earnest and approachable. One of the night's best, even if perhaps not much of a standout in the context of the whole season. But it was definitely the performance she needed.

Stupidest judge comment: Randy "You took some liberties, you worked on the melody, changed some things around a little bit." (In other words there was a song arrangement Randy?)

Chikezie, who arguably had the best and certainly had the most surprising performance last week, followed with "I've Just Seen A Face." It was a strange choice, but no stranger than last week, and he knocked that one out of the park. So I was interested to see what he'd do with it. He did country with it. Chikezie. Did country. With a Beatles song. This was not one of those "Your peanut butter is on my chocolate" moments of delightfully serendipitous blending. It was just... well I can't even say it was bad. It was thoroughly weird and not in a good way though. Like something I'd imagine you might see from Luther Vandros after snorting a lot of coke at a wild party thrown by Willie Nelson. Oh, he also played the harmonica at one point and that was bad. It was like he tried to recapture everything surprising, energetic, and fun about his performance last week and badly failed in an effort to top himself. Would have been far better had he just moved on. It was not the night's worst. It definitely was the night's strangest. If "memorable" is a good thing no matter why, he should be VERY safe this week.

Truest judge comment: Simon "I actually thought it was ... gimmicky."

Ramiele Mulabay received the much coveted (and in her case needed) closing spot, choosing to perform, "I Should Have Known Better." Wait a minute... huh?! She chose WHAT?! Out of one of the most treasured and diverse song catalogs in the history of music she chose a mostly obscure up-tempo early number without much vocal range to show off... well just about every one of her weaknesses it seems. Ramiele is at home as a classic Idol diva balladeer, but for whatever reason she doesn't seem to see herself this way. Ever since her very strong opening performance she's been sinking into mediocrity, and the sinking continued this week. The judges kept most of the cliches locked up this week, so I'll spring it out for them: This was a theme park performance. Bubbly, aimless, with random moments when a nice note was hit and held but nothing compelling pulling it together in a way you'd expect in a real star. I'm officially starting the Ramiele departure watch, because this is no longer a fluke but a solid trend: Ramiele has a great voice but seemingly has no idea how to use it well to compete. She took the coveted "pimp slot" closing the show and completely botched the opportunity. She's not likely to get another before leaving.

So let's sum up the night... Mostly meh, with a dose of blegh. We did have a couple of bright spots. But the average of the night was definitely below average in a typical week.

Tops of the night? David Cook, David Cook, up yours Simon, and David Cook.

Also strong were David Archuleta, Syesha Mercado and Carly Smithson.

Michael Johns wasn't as good as the above, but better than those about to be mentioned next.

Amanda Overmyer, and Jason Castro are lucky there were so many other bad performances this week.

Kristy Lee Cook and Chikezie competed for worst arrangement, with Kristy winning "dullest" and Chikezie winning "weirdest."

Ramiele was most forgettable of the night.

Brooke White was something I just want to forget forever after.

That being said, it's a tricky week to pick who might be going home. If it was just based on this one performance it should be Brooke. But it's not based on just that and therefore I don't even expect her in the bottom three.

I think Ramiele, Amanda, and Kristy are headed for an all-girl bottom three, and Kristy is finally headed out the door. She's got some talent, but isn't quite ready for the big time yet. And as noted earlier, the song arranger hates her.

Next week is... Something other than the Beatles. And as much as I like the songs, that's a good thing.

UPDATE: The Results!

Well I was right about a couple of my predictions. It was indeed an all girl bottom three. I picked 2 of the 3 that were in it. And the one who left was one of those, and even though it wasn't the one I thought would go tonight, I sort of saw her run winding down in the next couple of weeks, so not a big shocker.

Pleasant surprise of the evening, Kellie Pickler looks and sounds better than she used to, and remains pretty hilarious and charming in her improved reality-show "I'm a country girl" banter with the camera. And her new single doesn't even suck. Good for her. Still couldn't take seeing that act several weeks in a row again. Some wounds heal slowly.

Anyway the shocker of the bottom three was that Carly Smithson was in it and/or Ramiele Malubay was not, depending on your perspective. I didn't expect either one to head home this week and neither one did. But I also certainly didn't expect Carly to get so close, nor Ramiele to so clearly avoid that brush with Idol death. Let's see if Carly responds to this like Sayesha did (she hit the bottom threee last week if you recall). If so, that could be pretty awesome.

Anyway Amanda and Kristy were paired off for the official booting. And unexpectedly it was Amanda, rather than Kristy, who got the heel delivered swiftly into her rump.

Kristy deserves another shot so she can finally sing to a decent arrangement, but I was a little surprised she got that chance. I thought Amanda's personality was strong enough to save her for a couple more weeks. But really, after last night this writing was pretty much on the wall. The fact that I won't really miss her next week even though I basically like her says it all. We've seen the act, and there just doesn't seem to be a lot more too it.