Bogus Gold

Ramiele Mulabay started us off tonight. This was an ominous sign for a contestant I officially put on "death watch" a couple of weeks ago, as the lead off slot is always a danger to the forgettable. She sang "Alone," by Heart. It's a decent song. She should have been able to nail it vocally; though it continues her streak of having no freaking clue what kind of singer she's trying to be. Still, Ramiele has that unexpectedly great big voice in that tiny little body so she should be... wait a minute... where the hell is her pitch wandering? That's not where that... OW! Did she really just belt that power note off key? Yes, tonight Ramiele was having a few vocal problems. In the judging round Paula tried to persuade us all she was dying of a lethal combination of Yellow Fever and Tuberculosis. But Ramiele ditched that by giggling and telling us she felt fine, but her voice just "left her." I hope the Phillipino community lit up the phone lines for her last night in survival mode, or that's not the only thing that will be leaving this week.

Jason Castro came next, singing "Fragile" by Sting. I'm not a huge Sting fan, mostly over the bitterness about what might have been had he not broken up the Police to indulge his massive ego in schmaltzy modern jazz arrangements and incoherent appeals to save the rain forest. But I left that aside for Jason's sake. Jason was self accompanying in acoustic guitar again, which is when he's at his best despite what the judges tell him. And while I was hardly blown away by this performance it was solidly good. I kept hoping he would do something memorable with it which never came though. His style has this way of ratcheting up the emotional tension, and he could just slay people if he found a way to use that to deliver some kind of break-through "punchline." The power-diva singers use their high-octave arias and power notes to do that. That's not Jason's style. But I wish he could find something, because that's the only element he's missing at the moment. Simon is having trouble thinking he's serious about the competition because Simon is old and thinks dreadlocks equals stoner, which is like... so 80's.

Syesha Mercado was next with "If I Were Your Woman," by Stephanie Mills. Initial thoughts: Syesha has gone from one of the most memorable and talented to struggling to stay in the running by singing well but being surprisingly dull. It's not her singing but her performances that are killing her. And so... She sang this one very, very well. It was a star quality vocal. That being said... I have this sneaking suspicion that was completely not the performance she needed to deliver. She needed to change things up and make people reassess her in a new way. Idol history is littered with talented diva-style singers who just never connected. Remember Latoya London? Lisa Tucker? Stephanie Edwards? Probably not. That's Syesha's problem too at the moment.

Chikezie hit us next with a little Luther Vandross, singing "If Only For One Night." And while I was glad to hear him breaking away from the frenetic "must top myself with crazy arrangement" mode from last week, there was a danger here he openly acknowledged... the judges have warned him he gets very dull when he tries this style. Which is kind of true, even though his voice is totally suited for it. And guess what? He sang this one to perfection. And it was indeed a little dull. Somewhere between frantically scrambling to blow us away with the unexpected and this kind of vocal is Chikezie's sweet spot. I would love to see him find it before he's booted off the show. But as for this... I would call it "solid." Not especially praiseworthy in any other sense.

Next up was Brooke White, singing "Every Breath You Take," by the Police. Have I mentioned that Brooke reminds me disturbingly of the Glenn Close character in Fatal Attraction? I have? Oh... well then why did she have to pick a song with stalker lyrics?! Seriously! I'm going to have nightmares over this! Anyway this was the night's first officially interesting arrangement, decomposing the original into more of an acoustic piano thingy. The band did join in about half way through, but the piano remained the focus, which is Brooke at her best so no complaints on principle. The complaint is that it just wasn't all that great as either arrangement or performance. It didn't suck. It just... wandered. The judges suggested she should have stuck with the solo piano style with no band she started with. Watching it back I have to agree a thousand percent. That part was excellent. The rest.... meh. I still think Brooke has moved up to a top tier competitor over others like Syesha and Ramiele. Because she's different and interesting. And scary (to me at least).

Michael Johns followed with a classic Queen medley of "We Will Rock You," and "We Are the Champions." Okay first of all I HATE when contestants do medley arrangements period. That being said, this was actually released as a medley in the original with one song leading into the other. Secondly, I find it disturbing that so many contestants are picking Queen songs this year, as they're not very suitable to this kind of show. That being said, Michael at least made no attempt to do a Freddy Mercury style vocal, which would be horrendous to listen to. Just be mindful that this choice violated two major points of contention for me before the performance even began. The verdict? Excellent performance with a powerful yet wandering vocal. On a recording this would sound awful. As live performance it worked pretty well. Michael has some of the best stage presence of all the contestants, and he certainly won the judges over with it. They just gushed all over him in ways I think went well beyond what he deserved. Still... a pretty good week for Michael.

Carly Smithson was next with "Total Eclipse of the Heart," by Bonnie Tyler. This is a classic song, and I thought it was a perfect choice for Carly the second it started. That said... I expected something... I dunno... more, from it. She hit a lot of the parts I thought she'd do well very nicely. But... something was lacking. And there was this completely unnecessary and over-the-top power note thrown in at the end, where I would have MUCH preferred her to show how she can take it down from power to soft and understated, which is part of the charm of the original arrangement. Anyway, we expect a good vocal from Carly and we got it. But both Randy and Simon noticed something missing here that neither could put their finger on any better than me. Randy thought maybe it was the wrong style of song, which I totally disagree with. Simon thought she was too tense, which may be true but is beside the point. Anyway... good enough to keep her I hope, because she's still an amazing talent.

And then the heavens opened and David Archuleta descended to the stage singing "You're the Voice," by John Farnham. And no, I had never heard of it before either. And yes, there's probably a reason as it was a pretty dull and saccharine kind of song. And for the second time in recorded history the Archuleta Express hit the brakes. This was not lousy like the last time he stumbled. It was... boring. David Archuleta can be boring?! Apparently so. Next you'll tell me he's mortal in other ways too. Really it was just the performance of a talented kid belting out a boring song with pretty good vocal range and control. Nothing memorable about it at all for this stage of the competition. Simon Cowell took the opportunity to make a rare criticism of the wunderkind, calling it a "theme park" performance. I merely yawned.

Then Kristy Lee Cook convinced us she was freaking tired of hitting the bottom group, by making the most calculated and vote-whoring song selection in Idol history with "God Bless the USA," by Lee Greenwood. Say what you want about this girl... she's not stupid. Does it really matter how well she sang it? I suppose it should be mentioned. She sang it basically alright. Nothing special. A few properly countrified trills in there, but nothing too over the top there. Since her fan base is mostly the country crowd in the first place, and since patriotism goes over like gangbusters there, Kristy was a lock to remain on the show the moment the song was announced. I was wondering if the judges would even dare to criticize this one. The answer was simply no - including Simon, who seemed almost stunned by the cleverness of the song choice itself much as I was.

David Cook finally got the coveted pimp slot, closing the show with "Billie Jean," by Michael Jackson. Yes THAT Billie Jean, by THAT Michael Jackson. And no... if you missed the show you really never have heard this song before, no matter what you think. This was not a song arrangement. This was a song re-invention. I read this morning that it was an arrangement by Chris Cornell, but I can't be alone in never having heard it previously. David used it to deliver something darker, deeper, and more tender than the original all within a hard rock sound that we're beginning to realize is well beyond some Chris Daughtry impersonation. This was a total stunner. Every Idol season has a few truly outstanding "breakthrough" moments. David had already shown us one when he did his rearrangement of Lionel Richie's "Hello." Now he had an even bigger one with this week's performance. This was in fact one of the best performances in Idol history. It was so far above the level of the rest of the night's performances I can hardly describe it. I still consider David Archuleta the front-runner due to his teen appeal. But in the field of talent and merit, David Cook is starting to run away from the rest now. And it's a very talented field. He's just that good.

So, remember that comment about how the old Idol people have a pretty public and poor record at identifying the real stars emerging from their own show? Well how do you think they're feeling now? They can see Chris Daughtry's record sales. They can see David Cook, whom they obviously cast as an "also ran," emerging much the same way. And they've clearly been pushing David Archuleta in Tamyra Grey fashion. What are they going to do in response now? I have no idea. But it will sure be a fun little sub-plot to watch in the coming weeks.

Okay so to recap the night... yada, yada, yada; then David Cook blew us away. Seriously that was my impression. Maybe that's just me, but I have a feeling it's not. Still, we must sort out the field a bit, so let's get onto it.

Tops of the night... David Cook obviously. So let's just set him aside and look at the "best of the rest."

Best of the rest for me was probably Michael Johns, and I'm a little surprised to say so. I mean... vocally the best would probably have to be Syesha. But these are mirror image performances. Syesha had ALL the vocals, but lacked the charisma and memorability in spite of it. Michael's performance put the vocals in the back seat and worked entirely because of charisma. So let's give Michael and Syesha a really weird tie here.

I'm also going to single out Brooke as having a pretty good week in spite of a not so good performance because she distinguished herself with an individual and memorable style.

Jason Castro, Chikezie, and Carly Smithson more or less coasted with solid but not very special performances.

Kristy Lee Cook made it a violation of the Patriot Act to vote her off the show this week.

David Archuleta was among the night's weakest, but like that even matters when mobs of screaming teen girls all have cell phones and daddy pays their texting bill.

And that leaves... Ramiele Mulabay. She truly had the worst performance of the night, and had the bad fortune to deliver it from the brutal lead-in spot. She is my prediction to go home this week. Joining her in the bottom group will probably be Chikezie and Carly, though I wouldn't be surprised to see Syesha down there instead.


UPDATE: THE RESULTS

Hmm... I'm kind of liking the hour long booting show format this season. I don't know why. I freely admit it's a lot of filler, and a lot of the feigned tension about "who's in the bottom group" is false. But it keeps me entertained in various ways for a solid hour this year, and I'm kind of surprised by that.

Anyway, the results themselves. I was not shocked by Syesha hitting the bottom three. I was a lot MORE shocked that Ramiele didn't. Whoever out there still likes this girl hit the panic button and were obviously dialing like crazy. I was only mildly surprised that Jason Castro was down there. He really has been coasting too much in a competitive field.

But the story of the night was Chikezie's departure. I always kind of rooted for the guy. Big talent. Too much desire to use it to imitate an old and not-so-popular-anymore R & B sound, and too little control and judgment when he tried to break out of that. And his continual arguing with Simon didn't help (it almost never does, as Simon is far more popular with the home crowd than they ever admit in the broadcast).

But in the end, this was not a shocking departure. We'll always have that fantastic performance he gave on the first Beatles night to remember him by.

Next week is Dolly Parton. She's a country artist I truly like, but I'm only human so prepare for many boob jokes.