Bogus Gold

Ryan "No Longer So Ramblin'" Rhodes sent a Tweet about a type of cancer he's researching that he'd never heard about before. For some reason in my mind this lead to me thinking of other kinds of unknown cancers. Which got me thinking of "booger cancer." Suddenly my imagination is like a Monty Python skit...

(The doctor enters)

Doctor: "We have your test results. I'm afraid the news isn't good."

Patient: "What is it doctor? You can be direct with me."

Doctor: "I'm afraid you have cancer."

Patient: "Oh that's terrible!"

Doctor: "Yes, we discovered a malignant tumor on a booger in your left nostril. I'm afraid it's inoperable."

Patient: "Excuse me... did you say the tumor was... on a booger?"

Doctor: "I'm so sorry, but I'm afraid so. In your left nostril. We're going to do some more tests, and get you..."

Patient: "Wait a minute! Wait just one minute! You're telling me I have cancer on a booger?!"

Doctor: "I know the news is distressing. Would you like me to send in the grief couselor to talk you through this before we continue the tests?"

Patient: "I don't need a grief counselor! If it's on a booger, why can't we just... take it out?!"

Doctor: "You mean pick your nose?! Ewwww!"

Patient: "Look, I'm not saying I like the idea of picking my nose, but if I have cancer..."

(Grief Counselor enters)

Grief Counselor: "I understand someone might be having trouble taking the news here."

Doctor: "I'm afraid the patient is beside himself at the moment. Very much in denial about the severity of the situation."

Patient: "I am NOT beside myself. I'm just saying that if the problem is with a booger, we should simply take it out!"

Grief Counselor: "You want to pick your nose?! Ewwwww!!"

Doctor: "Ewwww!!"

...

... And so on and so forth.

In unrelated news I have not been asked to contribute any writing to support this year's Race for the Cure. Fingers crossed for next year.