Bogus Gold

Michael Sarver lead us off, singing "Aint Going Down Till the Sun Comes Up," by Garth Brooks. Reason number one why I hated this theme: most everyone seems to be under the impression that Michael Sarver is another typical Idol "country" singer, cast to appeal to that niche. You know, like Bucky Covington or Josh Gracin. Well he's not. He's an R & B singer, and a pretty good one, if still searching for a stage personality. However he works on an oil rig in Texas. So he's already got the look. And he certainly knows country music. And so, probably thinking he's showing us a "different side" of himself, Michael dived enthusiastically into a country role, sounding like a generic Garth Brooks wannabe. It's not at all the kind of singer he wants to be, nor is it what he's best at. All it did was serve to cement the wrong impression in the minds of the Idol voters about who Michael is, and why they should care about him. So basically he sang it pretty well, for the style he chose to sing it in. But I think he did himself no favors by it.

Oh... by the way, I'm mostly ignoring the judges comments tonight because they were all over the place, leaving Paula (Paula?!!) sounding like the most reasonable one more than once. And they were either pimping or flat out wrong too many times for me to keep up with. I'll only mention them tonight if some egregious impression they left needs correcting.

Allison Iraheta followed singing "Blame It On Your Heart," by Patty Loveless. Ahem... hated this theme. Have I mentioned? I loved Allison's voice once again. Her stage presence is still terrific. She seemed more confident overall. And I kind of hated this song. Not the performance. The song. I'm sorry if this is some country classic and I'm offending Patty Loveless' mother or something. But kinda ich. The verse had too many syllables. I know it's a weird criticism but seriously... it dragged on a few beats too stupidly every time it should have jumped into the chorus. I think this is going to make Allison more forgettable than she deserved to be.

Kris Allen had the night's third spot, and you know what? This was one of those unexpected shakeups a bad theme can produce. He sang "To Make You Feel My Love” by Garth Brooks. Unlike Michael Sarver, he felt no compunction to sound like Garth Brooks. As a result he delivered a decidedly non-country sounding vocal that showed off the fact that he can really sing. He's not just a boy-band niche guy anymore. Not in my mind. Perhaps not the biggest shakeup, as he's been growing on me. But considering the standard "power ranking" order I've seen around the Idol blogs, and how low Kris seems to rate in most of them, I think this performance qualifies as a shake up. Really nice. I might have liked it a little extra for not being as explicitly "country" as the prior two performances, but I'm standing by the quality call all the same.

Lil Rounds followed, singing “Independence Day” by Martina McBride. Did I mention it was a shakeup kind of night AND that I hated this theme? You're going to grow as tired of me saying it as I was tired of thinking it before we're through. This may be the biggest example of it of the whole night. Lil, apparently under the impression that she was getting too stale after two whole performances in an R & B style, decided she wanted to "honor the music" by trying to copy a more authentic country vocal here. This despite her pre-performance interview telling us the only country songs she knew when she learned of the theme were from TV. (I was thinking "Rollin' rollin' rollin'... keep them doggies rollin' ... raw-HIIIIDE!" but there was to be no such luck.) Lil just never quite got there with this one. She didn't sound terrible or miss a lot of notes. It just felt... awkward. The best part of the song was the chorus, and all that did was remind you that Lil's big voice was intentionally trying to sound country tonight. Before this was over I was pondering whether Lil might actually be in danger this week.

Adam Lambert came next, singing... okay first we need an aside. You know what's good about Adam Lambert beyond the freaky good voice with the insane range? Adam does not care what the judges think. He's not picking songs to please them. He's not performing in a style to suit them. They're welcome to come along for the ride, but there is just no freaking way Adam, considering what he's done even to this point, gives a damn whether or not Simon will be pleased, let alone Randy, Paula, or the new one everyone forgets. Therefore on Grand Ole Opry night, Adam chose to sing a hellspawn music emerging from a decidedly unnatural blending of Johnny Cash, Robert Plant, and Ravi Shankar (crazy judging night observation: only Paula noticed the Robert Plant/Led Zep part, and that was the key to the whole performance). It's listed as Cash's "Ring of Fire," but that does not begin to describe what song Adam actually performed. I watched the entire thing with half of my mouth hanging open and the other half stuck in a stupid grin. It took me three re-watchings of the thing to even figure out whether I loved it or hated it. And you know what? It was the best performance of the night, and I'm not saying that just because I hated the theme and this was kind of a spit-on-the-theme kind of performance (okay, that might be part of it, but I swear it's not the whole thing). The combination of talent, creativity, and moxie needed to pull that off might be some kind of high water mark in Idol history. I fully realize a lot of people are going to hate this one with a passion. But this was crazy good in my opinion... just as much emphasis on the crazy as the good.

Scott MacIntyre got the lucky spot of following that with a performance about as different as it could possibly be. He sang “Wild Angels” by Martina McBride, beginning a theme of male singers singing female country songs. Starting with Scott, three of the next four guys did that. It was more annoying on principle than glaringly obvious. One does it, it might be a daring risk, or a strong personal statement. When three do it the appeal is kind of lost to the gimmickry. Anyway, Scott sounded pretty good with this one, and not very country. I do wish people would quit telling me Scott has some kind of below sensational voice while tongue-bathing Matt Giraud's bluesier-but-no-better pipes, but we'll get to that later. Scott's biggest performance problem of the night was that this one was just too similar to his last peformance. He likes the "Christian Rock Lite" sound, and tends to turn his material into that kind of thing. Could get all too boring if he can't shake it up. Oh... and just to counter one of the stupider judge arguments of the night: Scott should feel free to sing without the piano if HE ever has some particular performance idea for it. But since he's blind, he's a lot more restricted in his performance options. The piano helps him orient himself for a live audience a LOT, so unless he's got some great idea for losing it, he probably shouldn't.

Alexis Grace came out next, looking a lot more understated than the past couple of weeks, singing “Jolene” by Dolly Parton. And you know, despite the fact that Alexis Grace kind of looks like Dolly (save for the um… chestular area), the one singer I couldn’t get out of my head the whole time wasn’t Dolly. It was Brooke White who sang this song last season. Brooke’s version was really earthy, and acoustic, and sincere. And this didn’t set up Alexis very well by comparison. She said later she was trying to show a softer side of herself tonight, which is probably something I can’t blame on the theme but I’d really like to. In any case along with the loss of her up-tempo bluesy belting went eighty percent of her performance personality. She sounded mostly alright, if a bit repetitive and bland. This was easily the dullest we’ve heard Alexis Grace to date.

Danny Gokey next sang “Jesus, Take the Wheel” by Carrie Underwood. Oh joy, another male performer singing a female country song. And this one comes complete with Jesus references. Like most of America, I consider Danny one of the front runners to win this season. But I’m noticing something interesting about him that may hurt in the long run. He can sing modern and hip and please one kind of audience; or he can emphasize his church music / inspirational side and please another. And whichever way he goes, the other half tends not to like it. He’ll need to find a way to bridge that gap before long. Anyway I hate this song. Hate the stupid lyrics. That aside, Danny was lazy in his phrasing on the verses, but it wasn’t the calamity it was later made out to be. Play it back if you don’t believe me. However the power-notes at the end also weren’t as flawless as they were later claimed to be. The impression I was left with was kind of a “phone it in” performance, even though I’m pretty sure he worked on it just as hard as he has previously. He should be safe on overall talent and fan base alone at this stage, and it sort of felt like he knew it.

Anoop Desai followed with “You Were Always on My Mind” by Willie Nelson. And I was provided with yet another reason to hate this theme. Apparently when we’re revering country music we have to pretend Willie Nelson is some impeccable singer who is nearly impossible to top. Willie. Nelson. Lordy. Anyway, Anoop didn’t try to slavishly imitate Willie the way he did to Michael Jackson last week so we can be thankful for that. And then we got our little shakeup moment when Anoop quit trying to please the judges and went right back to the ballad-style singing that they hated from him before they decided they hated his awful MJ impersonation even more. And once again we were reminded that Anoop is NOT the “fan base outrunning singing talent” candidate this year. He’s not another Sanjaya. He has serious singing talent, and this was a seriously good vocal. It probably made an even bigger impression coming on the heels of his egregious suckage the previous week. But truly… judging the vocals alone this was one of the night’s best. The Vote for the Worst people must be so conflicted about Anoop right now.

Megan Corkrey came next, singing “Walking After Midnight” by Patsy Cline. Some people can’t really stand Megan, what with her silly stage movements and limited vocal range. I kind of like her myself, but I’m not sure she really belongs in this kind of competition. She’d be terrific fronting a band like the late great Squirrel Nut Zippers. But as a solo act? I’m really skeptical. Anyway she sang this one about the way you might expect Megan – the good Megan, not the “Rockin’ Robbin” version from last week – to sing it. It was all stylized in that kind of soft-jazzy, Billie Holiday-esque sound. If you like that kind of thing, you probably liked Megan’s performance this week. And that was even before we discovered she was suffering from the flu so severely she’d been hospitalized earlier in the day. Last year when the contestants came down with the flu they were largely told to suck it up – the show must go on and all that. It was made out to be some kind of character test or something. No such tough love for Megan. The judges all but brought her chicken soup and hugs for her bravery after the performance. Somewhere Carly Smithson threw a shoe at her television upon seeing that.

Matt Giraud got the pimp slot to close out the show tonight, going with “So Small ” - by Carrie Underwood. Gee… how novel. A male singer singing… *YAWN*… a female country song. Again. Third time tonight in fact. Second time for it being a Carrie Underwood song. Can you FEEL the excitement? Can you? I couldn’t. In fact there was very little to get excited with until about the last third of this song when it really picked up and the full orchestral-arrangement pimpage kicked in. He sang it alright, but he had a few pitch problems. If you watched this thing a couple of times like I did you have no idea how it earned him such a tongue bathing from all the judges afterward. Not on the merits anyway. Seriously, on a week when internet tongues were all abuzz with rumors that Idol is “fixed” (which is BS in my opinion – but some people put a lot more credence in nameless “insider” sources gossiping about pop-culture scandals than me) you’d think they’d want to maintain a hint of reality in their comments. Matt sounded alright… pretty good at best. He definitely did not sound anything like Michael Bublé, even if he kind of resembles him in appearance, which is hardly evidence of great range so why bring it up in that regard? I’m not trying to be a Matt-hater, but don’t get your hopes up if you really like him. The judges are going to pigeon-hole this guy into non-winnability no matter how they try to string him along now.

So anyway, the night of the terrible theme was finally over. It proved to be better in both quality and entertainment value than the theme deserved to be on its own merits. We got a few surprises. But most importantly we got a terrible puzzle. Who was the best of the night? Who was the worst? Who the heck goes home after such a mixed and shaken kind of a night?

Well let’s start by talking about the best of the night. This is going to be such a non-consensus pick I’m breaking it into two parts: My favorite, versus what I expect is the more conventional best of the night.

That’s right, I’m picking Adam Lambert as my favorite of the night. It’s the closest to a Led Zeppelin vocal anyone has ever done on the Idol stage, and to do it on Grand Ole Opry night adds a perfectly defiant touch. There’s not a chance in aytch-ee double hockey stick that Adam was the top vote getter tonight though. To the extent anyone listened to this trying to hear Johnny Cash rather than Robert Plant it was just too much of a mind-reach.

Therefore I’m picking Anoop Desai as the consensus best of the night. From the “dawg” house to the pent house for Anoop! He probably deserved to go home last week for his terrible take on “Beat It.” But he grabbed his reprieve with gusto, and re-established himself as a serious contender rather than some kind of joke or gimmick selection.

Joining Adam and Anoop for top honors of the night, I’d probably include Kris Allen. Less of an Anoop-like dramatic shift than a gradual progression, but he also helped establish himself as a serious contender tonight.

Middle of the pack is muddled and crowded and a lot of these could be at risk. Lil Rounds sang decently, but lost much of he appeal due to the style. Allison Iraheta sang well on a forgettable song. Matt Giraud delivered a workman-like performance in an outrageously over-pimped slot. Danny Gokey sounded like he was almost mailing it in at times during his performance.

The bottom of the night is kind of painful to note this week. The first is Michael Sarver. This hurts because it’s a total theme-casualty. He sang a Garth Brooks song in a Garth Brooks style on Grand Ole Opry week, which sounds like a good thing but it really isn’t. He just marginalized his appeal by playing into a stereotype that isn’t even true about him. Next is Alexis Grace. This one hurts, because she’s usually so good and probably will be again now that she has this “I want to show my softer side” thing out of her system. “Softer” doesn’t have to mean “dull,” but it definitely did for Alexis tonight. The final one is Megan Corkrey. Sympathy for her flu bug, or the quirky appeal of her unique style might spare her the axe. But really, there wasn’t much special about this performance that you couldn’t say about any of her performances. She sounds great in a way, but not like a solo artist.

And who do I think is going home? Wow. This one has the potential to be a shocker. I see plausible scenarios for sending Allison Iraheta and Lil Rounds to the bottom three, even though I don’t think either one would be deserved. I could even see either one of them going, as they both did semi-forgettable performances early in the night. Neither gave their fans much to be excited about, and they might feel safe.

Alexis Grace could go, which would be an overall shocker, but a trip to the bottom three based on that performance is probably deserved.

But I think the most likely to go home are either Michael Sarver or Megan Corkrey. It’s tough though. Each one has a kind of niche appeal which could come on strong to preserve them even while their overall appeal takes a hit. If that’s the case we should be in for one of the shocker losses, and might even see the new “judge save” come into effect.

But I’m not going to try to read the tea leaves in that much detail. I’m picking Megan Corkrey to be sent home, earning lots of talk about how unfair it is because she had the flu. But I don’t think that will be enough to earn her a judge-save. If it’s Michael sent home instead, I don’t think he’ll get a judge-save either.

But what if it’s Lil? Or Allison? Or Alexis? That might draw the save, which would leave the Idol-tour situation in a quandary, since they only send the top ten on the tour. Save all eleven this week and then send the bottom two home the week after , and you have groups of eleven and nine, with no top ten. We’ll worry about how they might handle that if the situation comes up. I’m not really predicting it for tonight.

UPDATE: The Results

Well that was... not entirely unexpected. Not entirely. Also not ideal. What am I talking about?

The results, of course. I've just seen them and... here's how it went down.

On the bleachers-of-safety, Ryan went right across the top row... Danny - safe (of course)... Lil - safe (whew!) ... Anoop - safe (of course). Then we have Allison Iraheta and Michael Sarver both stand. Ryan messes around with them for a bit. We ask Paula to guess which one might be safe. She's back in love with all of humanity and fearlessly predicts all eleven will end up in the finals or something. That was as close as I could get to any meaning out of it. Anyway we quickly learn Allison is in the bottom three (crap!), and so is Michael (kinda figured).

Commercial break. Brad Paisley sings. Commercial break.

Back to the bleachers-of-safety. Ryan goes across the bottom row now, telegraphing who will be in the final pairing and making this all a useless exercise but whatever. Scott - safe (told you), Matt Giraud - safe (figures), Kris Allen - safe (rightly so). Now we come to our final two - Alexis Grace and Adam Lambert. We know there's only one spot left in the bottom three. We learn that Simon hated Adam's performance even more upon rewatching it later. And the we learn that... Alexis is in the bottom three. Deserved for last night, but not a joy to learn.

So our bottom three is quickly established as Allison, Michael, and Alexis. One of them is quickly sent to safety. And that is... Allison (yay!). Michael and Alexis are left to squirm while Carrie Underwood performs with Randy Travis.

We come back and learn the judges have conferred, and would consider using their one-time save for one of these two. We're not told who yet.

Then... Michael is sent back to the bleachers. Alexis is going home unless... they decide to save her. Simon tells her it's all up to her re-performance of the song they all said was the wrong choice for her. She gives it a spirited try and it IS better than it was last night. But... they choose not to save her. Alexis Grace is out.

The final 10, and therefore the Idol road show, has been chosen. Seven guys and three girls. I didn't think they'd allow that to happen. Also, didn't that "Idol is fixed" hot "insider" informant tell us Alexis was already chosen for the final four? Oopsie. Maybe there's still time to pretend they have insider info on The Biggest Loser or something.

Next week the theme is Motown - should be a MUUUUCH better theme for this group. I'm expecting big things. Alexis would have sounded great with that theme. But it's time to move on.