Bogus Gold

Lil Rounds: Lil's voice is well suited to a lot of popular female artists of the day. But Lil has shown a stubborn insistence on ignoring all such opportunities and picking something that's just awful for her for some time. Bad song choice plus disco could spell the end of her this season. And she goes with... "I'm Every Woman," by Chaka Khan. Wow, she suddenly thinks she's going to save herself by going all Lakisha. None of us have much of a clue who Lil really is, and this doesn't help. She sings it competently, but it's hardly going to blow us away. Other Idols have done this one much, much better in prior seasons. It's not awful. But once again Lil insists on putting her limitations on display more than her talents. And it's in the leadoff spot too. Not good. The judges have been over her for a while now, and basically let her know they just want to be friends from now on.

Kris Allen: Kris' style doesn't seem like it would easily adapt to Disco. Fortunately, Kris has probably shown the second most skill at re-arranging songs this year (after Adam). I'm hoping he doesn't just go for a straight up cover arrangement and puts some distance between himself and some less talented others. The song is “She Works Hard For the Money” by Donna Summer. And I'm already praying to my television that it won't be as awful as that idea sounds. And then... aww why did I worry? This is fantastic! It sounds nothing like the original, nothing like Disco, totally like Kris, and totally terrific. He made it into an acoustic, rhythmic, Santana-ish kind of really nice thing. Perhaps his best performance of the whole season. The judges are all into some Kris tonight as well.

Danny Gokey: Well this one is a mystery to me. Mr. "Power Soul" is faced with an era where the power was in the synthesized drum track, and the soul was just about wrung out of the entire music industry. Perhaps we'll finally see Danny do something interesting and original with an arrangement? If not this could be trouble. He chooses to perform “September,” by Earth, Wind, & Fire. Hmm... it's got some potential. He's got the patented Danny Growl under control tonight, and is working the stage in an unusually bouncy manner. Alright, truth be told, I'm growing bored with this act about the same way David Archuleta was boring me this time last season. Yes, I see and appreciate the talent. But I'm starting to know exactly what he's going to sound like on any given song every week. I'm not denying the talent. But it's been a long time since Danny's performance really woke me up and surprised me. The judges kind of gave their blah-blah yay-Danny comments, with Simon providing a cautionary "boring" warning.

Allison Iraheta: By the time Allison was born, Disco had been mouldering in its funky grave for more than a decade. And when Allison listens to some examples this week she's going to find out why she would have struggled in the Disco era, as her harder rocking female vocal style was confined to the punk fringes at the time. Could be a challenge for her. The song choice is “Hot Stuff” by Donna Summer. Wow, they have really rocked up the arrangement. This is how Pat Benatar would have done this song, I think. And that's about as "rock" as you can make a Disco song I suppose. The judges were kind of right on here. The arrangement tried, but failed. It was kind of awful. But how could you not love Allison all the same? Her vocals shone through, and this was soooo not her theme. No one will remember this as one of her best, but if they look back they won't forget her talent either.

Adam Lambert: Adam could suffer a bit from high expectations here. The glammest Idolateer ever is definitely expected to be comfortable with this theme. I'm expecting one of his big showy theatrical performances, but actually think this would be a terrific opportunity to pull it back into another Ulplugged kind of arrangement as a surprise. Let's see. He chooses “If I Can’t Have You,” from Saturday Night Fever. That's not a tell, as it could still go either way. And then... Oh wow. He's made it a ballad. And not just any ballad, this is like a stadium rock anthem. This thing could, and probably will, be played at proms and weddings and all the other places where one once heard "Sister Christian" in the 80's. Once again Adam zigged where he was expected to zag and made it wonderful and surprising at the same time. The judges basically say he's the best thing in the competition without actually putting it in so many words.

Matt Giraud: The most saved contestant in Idol history (wild card save, plus newly minted judgy save) is trying to dig his way out of a hole this week. He was the lowest vote getter a week ago, and has to beat at least two others this week to go home. Everytime Matt tries to pull the slightest original move he gets beat up by the judges, and doing Disco straight up would be just awful for him. Good luck to Matt. He goes with “Stayin’ Alive” by the Bee Gees. And... it's basically Disco with R & B riffs shoved in a couple of places. Umm... it's uncomfortable to watch, but... actually given what he's trying to do with it, he's not doing too badly. I'm just not sure he should have tried to do it. But I don't think he had many options now, as I noted above. Anyway... judges were mixed, but seemed to be tilting against him.

Anoop Desai: I'm calling this one in advance - disaster of the night! It's not necessarily fair, as Anoop has actually performed pretty well the past couple of weeks and hit the bottom three all the same. But I think the magic ends here, as Anoop gets caught in one of his "show them more up-tempo" moments, which would likely crash and burn. The song choice is “Dim All the Lights” by Donna Summer. And umm... it's Michael Bolton again. I mean... in both the good and the bad sense of being Michael Bolton. He hits all the notes. He shows some skill. But I mean... who buys this kind of song anymore? It's adult contemporary, and about as edgy as Liberace donning a daringly red jacket. It is not the train wreck I predicted, but if he thinks this made him safe this week, he's nuts.

So let's get to the summary.

We have a real battle for best of the night this week. You could make a strong case for Kris Allen. You could make a strong case for Adam Lambert. Some, no doubt, will make a case for Danny Gokey, but they're just wrong.

As for me I'm picking Kris Allen as the week's best. His was just that much more original and interesting and his adaptation played so much to Kris' strengths. Adam is a very close second.

It's hard to even name a middle this week with so few left. But if they still name a bottom three this week, I suppose two names won't be in it. I'm thinking those names are Danny Gokey (yawn) and Allison Iraheta (please!!!). It's not really due to any great feat on either of their part though. It's just, as I noted earlier in the season, when it comes to raw talent these two are simply in a higher tier than the other remaining contestants.

And that would mean the bottom three, from which two will be going, are once again Matt Giraud, Lil Rounds, and Anoop Desai. And really more than anything it's just their time. Best wishes to them and all, but I honestly don't want to see a single one of them continue past the other four named above.

But going home this week I'm calling... Lil and Anoop. Matt's mystical salvation skills preserve him for one more week, but Lil and Anoop will go home.

We'll see if that's right tomorrow night.

UPDATE: The Results

And in tonight's episode of geriatric theater we're going to bring you a bevy of sagging seniors from the Disco era! You thought they looked pretty good 30 years ago... so we'll just assume nothing has changed now! Cue the spotlights!

Sheesh, was that ever uncomfortable. Were they just trying to make all the former David Cook backers into David Archuleta fans? I know I was mightily relieved when Archie's musical act came on after the tragic "Disco medley," brought to you by Centrum Silver.

Oh, also, two contestants were eliminated tonight. And one of them was Lil Rounds. Bet you thought I wasn't going to drop that info so early, did you? Just borrowing from the show's format.

And then, blah blah, the others at risk of going home are Anoop Desai and Allison Iraheta. Yes, America, you actually like Matt Giraud and Danny Gokey better than Allison Iraheta. You have a problem, and we need to talk. But that's for later.

For tonight we're made to wait before finding out... Anoop is going home. No offense to the Noop Dawg but, whew!

I think Lil and Anoop have very similar stories. They both sing really well, but neither one is likely to be a recording artist. They're good. They didn't embarrass themselves by their overall performance on the show. It was just time for them to go. The rest are just... better.

We're still waiting to hear the theme for next week. But with only five remaining we're getting close to the end. I see Adam as the current front-runner, with Gokey close behind, and Kris Allen moving up as the possible dark horse. If Allison or Matt have a prayer at winning this theme, everything from now on has to be a level above anything they've delivered so far.

See you next week.