Bogus Gold

David Hernandez: "The Goldfish." There's nothing wrong with goldfish. They just aren't very special or memorable. You flush them down the toilet without much of a second thought when they've run their course, and it's not a long course. This guy can sing, but by the time the other eleven performances had finished I had literally forgotten him. Good enough voice I don't think he should go yet, but I wouldn't be remotely surprised if he did.

Chikezie Eze: "The Flounder." What the hell was this guy thinking when he put together that cheesy (rhymes with "Eze"... well... it actually doesn't, but maybe it should) lounge act?! This guy actually can sing, and got some nice AI pimpage in the audition rounds and he came out trying to woo us with an homage to Barry White and The Love Boat?! Start over.

David Cook: "The Barracuda." To quote from Jaws from memory, "You yell 'barracuda' everybody goes, 'huh? what?'.... You yell 'shark'... and we've got a panic." Davie-boy strikes me as a barracuda in this competition. He's cool, slick, and talented enough to snap up a lot of the competition, but probably flying under the radar. I quite enjoyed how cool he made the saccharine "Happy Together."

Jason Yeager: "The Trout." Trout are eaten. By other fish. By people. Tasty, tasty trout. Jason is going to get gobbled up, if not this week then soon. He's riding upon a cute story about a son fond of his daddy, and that's not enough to make us want to inflict another "Moon River" performance upon us again. Trout also live in rivers, just to drive that one into the ground.

Robbie Carrico: "The Nurse Shark." Nurse sharks kind of appear dangerous. After all... they're sharks. But these are the sharks that sleep happily on the bottom of the tanks in aquariums and let divers pet them. Still... kind of cool. Just not scary or anything. Robbie is trying to build himself up as "the rocker" this year. Nahhh. He kind of looks the part. But as he already admitted, his former band once toured with Brittney Spears. Lead-in acts for Musketeers aren't rockers, dude. Still... kinda cool. His performance of "One" upped what we got from David Cook earlier as best performance of the night to that point.

David Archuleta: "The Koi." Like a prized koi carp, David is eagerly sought by wealthy collecters. Simon Cowell's eyes light up with dollar signs every time he walks on stage (and one can only imagine the avaricious lust in Clive Davis' heart as he watches from the shadows and plans the recording contract). This kid is money some day in some fashion. He looks like he walked off his own show on the Disney Channel already. And he comes across in the most believable shy, modest, and likable way. Anyway... he sang "Shop Around," which I thought would be corny, but ended up with a kind of infectious "That Thing You Do" (very underrated movie, by the way) charm to it. This kid is easily in the top 12, and the first serious contender to win we'd seen to that point.

Danny Noriega: "The Clown Fish." Clown fish come across as funny just because we call them "clown." But really they're prized and cool for other qualities. The producers on this show seem intent on beclowning an otherwise charming and talented kid with Danny. But he's got enough going for him otherwise he might survive it. He will NOT survive it by playing into it, as he did by singing Jail House Rock last night. That's playing to type a bit TOO much (on more than one level, but I'm not going there). The banter he had with the judges afterward was funny, but kind of in the way the "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" team is funny. I'm not outing anyone here. Just sayin'.

Luke Menard: "The Minnow." For a guy who got literally no production pimpage in the audition rounds, you'd think he would want to come around and make a big impression. However Luke thought outside the box there, and managed to seem as tiny and insignificant in this thing as the producers had treated him so far. Dull. Boring. Didn't stand out. Going to be quickly eaten by the bigger fish around.

Colton Berry: "The Flying Fish." Flying fish are just kind of... surprising. You think you have them pegged, and then they go out and do something you didn't think possible. And Colton pulling off Elvis' "Suspicious Minds," which had me cringing when he started, but nodding in surprise by the time he finished, was pretty surprising. The judges were not on the same page as me here, but really, I thought he was quite good. And I didn't expect that.

Garrett Haley: "Flipper." All right, I know. Flipper was a dolphin, not a fish. The point is, you know Flipper because he was famous and on television. We "know" Garrett because he looks like either Leif Garrett or Peter Frampton, depending on who you ask. He got no build up in the audition footage. Hey... didn't Flipper get canceled, like, a long time ago? Nostalgic value may keep Garrett around for a bit, but his voice was really weak compared to the rest of the field, and I don't think his throw-back image is enough to keep him around long.

Jason Castro: "The Swordfish." Swordfish are strong, prized, and difficult to catch. Jason Castro is one to watch in this thing. Unlike others who got no audition round buildup, Jason came out and owned the stage and charmed the audience. He was the only one who took advantage of the new gimmick this year and played an instrument (the guitar) while he sang. He made "What A Day For A Daydream" sound current and infectious. Even as he warbled on some of the notes, he gave it enough personality and style that it almost seemed more authentic like that. My favorite performance of the night.

Michael Johns: "The Tiger Shark." I'm not saying the other contestants are necessarily all going to be eaten by this guy. They'd just better hope he's not that hungry. Because the producers love him. The judges love him. And I suspect the audience will too. He's got Ace Young level good looks, but a voice and personality that come across more like Jim Morrison than boy-band Ace. He didn't hurt that image by singing the Doors' "Light My Fire," and doing it really well. He's got a gravelly, menacing sound to his singing which recalls Chris Daughtry at times, and he's not doing too badly these days.

Okay, to sum it up... Top three of the night were David Archuleta, Jason Castro, and Michael Johns. Nipping at their heels were David Cook, Robbie Carrico and maybe (surprisingly) Colton Berry. Screwed up but probably don't deserve to go for it yet are Chikezie Eze, and Danny Noriega. Deserving to become the evening's fish food are: David Hernandez, Jason Yeager, Luke Menard and Garrett Haley. I'd probably pick Jason Yeager and Luke Menard to go, but I'll bet David Hernandez ends up going in one of their spots.

Kristy Lee Cook lead us off. We were reminded she was the girl who sold her horse to buy the ticket to audition for Idol. It's a good thing, because there hasn't been a lot else to remember her by so far. And she really wouldn't want us to remember her for this performance either. Flat, lifeless, a but out of tune in places. The song was "Rescue Me," and the jokes one could riff on from that are too obvious. She was one of the two declared sickos, but really... this was as flat an opening as one could have imagined.

Joanne Borgella went next. We remember her as the "plus size model." And for a large woman, one has to admit she looks really nice. Problem for her is that she follows an Idol tradition where large black women have always meant big-belting Gospel-style singers. One gets the sense Joanne is not that kind of singer, but the audience is probably going to judge her that way anyway. And if so, this performance failed miserably (and if not, it still failed, just maybe not so miserably). She could not handle the lower registry of the song at all. She had trouble staying on key. She seemed nervous as hell at times. And her voice wasn't big enough even on the parts the was okay with. Sick? I hope so for her sake.

Alaina Whitaker went next, and I didn't really even remember her from before. Anyway, she's the youngest contestant. We were told her birthday is tomorrow. She sang "More Today Than Yesterday," and actually delivered the first energetic and in-tune vocal of the night. I think it might have been a little overpraised for that reason, but she was definitely a solid performer at least. What I liked best was the easy confidence and energy she displayed. Many of the older and more experienced performers failed at that one tonight.

Amanda Overmeyer, the "rock-n-roll nurse," got the next slot. There is something about her that compliments the "rocker" image, but stands out on its own that I really like about her. She's got this cool self-assurance that doesn't come across as cocky or arrogant. Just very... comfortable in her skin. It makes her hard not to like. That being said this was a weird song choice. I'm still trying to figure out if I liked it or not. "Baby Please Don't Go," is a cool song, but not much of a singer's song. Then we had the scatting added, which was ... interesting. Amanda has sworn off doing anymore Janis Joplin songs, as apparently in Hollywood Simon convinced her "that's already been done." Well yeah, but the person who did it died pretty young so there may be just a tad of merit in not writing it off altogether. Anyway... not my favorite performance, but probably one of my favorite performers.

Amy Davis was next. She's a very pretty girl. And that basically exhausts the compliments I have for her after she butchered, chopped, and fed "Where the Boys Are," through a meat-grinder of a performance. It was positively cringe-inducing. She couldn't find the key at all
. On top of it she had this lazy, slow-paced delivery which was probably supposed to be sultry. But with the wretchedness of the singing it came across instead as heavily medicated. That's Paula's gimmick, Amy. If Janis has been done so Amanda has to avoid imitation, you should stay off Paula's meds for the same reason. Worst of the night by a mile.

Brooke White followed, and can I just say this about her before we begin? They're trying to play up this whole "good girl" never-watched-an-R-Rated-movie thing with her, and how she won't let Simon win her over to the dark side. But everytime I look at her, something reminds me of Glen Close in Fatal Attraction. So I'm seeing all this "good girl" stuff as some kind of creepy setup and expecting her to boil a live rabbit, or pull a knife on someone before the end of the season. Anyway... She gave a blah, boring, pretty alright but nothing special performance of "Happy Together." David Cook sang this same song better last night.

Alexandrea Lushington, whom I didn't much remember doing anything since we saw her audition, came out next. The energy level we'd been seeing immediately got exposed for the dirge-like snore-fest it was, because Alexandrea was hoppin' and poppin' all over the stage with "Spinning Wheel," by BS & T. She was really on with her vocals too, despite Simon going into his own world and somehow not hearing it. She was really good, and easily the best we'd seen to that point tonight. If she wasn't too memorable before tonight, she probably will be from now on.

Kady Malloy came next, and the biggest problem here was that they lead off showing her doing a dead-on and pretty funny Brittney Spears imitation back stage while goofing around during Hollywood week. This turned out to be a problem because it totally overshadowed another low-energy, depressing sounding performance, this time with "A Groovy Kind of Love." She could sing alright, and didn't have trouble with pitch to the extent some of the others did. But, as the judges all tried to tell her afterward, she was almost lifeless in her performance style, and where was that girl who did the Brittney impression - because that was so much more lively and fun. We'll see if she really got what they meant, because she seemed to think they meant she needed to "jump around the stage" or something, and they really meant, "Don't stare at us glassy eyed the whole song; a smile now and then wouldn't hurt; and maybe convey a little emotion in line with the lyrics you're singing."

Asia'h Epperson we all remember as the girl who's dad passed away two days before her Idol audition. She dresses kind of funky, sings very well, and we got to see a bit of her in the Hollywood rounds too. Though Amanda is staying away from doing Janis' songs, Asia'h isn't, going with "Piece of My Heart." And she really delivered a nice solid vocal, and a confident if not terribly interesting stage performance. While this was definitely in the top half of performances of the night, I didn't quite get why the judges praised it to the extent they did. It was good. It wasn't great. And the three that came next made it a distant memory in a hurry.

Ramiele Malubay is chiefly remembered for being roughly the size of a munchkin, but with a voice sounding all Dorothy-like. She went with the Dusty Springfield song, "You Don't Have to Say You Love Me." What Amy Davis tried and failed to do with "sultry," the tiny Remiele nailed perfectly. It was weird, as you expect this squeaky high voice from such a tiny girl. But that is not what she sounds like at all. She sounds incredibly mature and controlled at every part of her vocal range. She was just as in command singing soft and low as belting it out toward the end of the song. There was a chasm separating the quality of this performance from everything that came before it this evening. However...

Syesha Mercado went next with "Tobacco Road." It was an odd song choice, and in large parts it failed to do much to show off any of Syesha's considerable vocal talent. That being said, wow - the stage presence and confidence of this girl is pretty amazing to observe. She looked like she could be accustomed to playing to large arenas right now. And when the unusual song arrangement finally did let her show off her voice, she displayed the talent and control we'd heard from her earlier, finishing by holding a note so powerful she nearly drowned out the very loud band backing her. She was my favorite going into this, and despite not being thrilled with the song choice, like Ramiele before her this was a performance on a different level from all those earlier ones.

Carly Smithson came next, and we were officially told about that earlier record deal thingy that had all the gossip going about her earlier in the week. Obviously, Idol didn't disqualify her over it. Unfortunately for her, she was another sickie we learned, apparently suffering from bronchitis. That being said, she delivered one of the best pure vocals of the night with "The Shadow of Your Smile." All the talent we'd heard about and expected were definitely there tonight. It perhaps wasn't the most energetic performance, but really, most of the field couldn't even approach the level of vocal quality she displayed ... and this is how she sounds singing with bronchitis. Once again, I thought this performance belonged in the very top tier along with Ramiele and Syesha. Simon tried to throw a bucket of cold water on her confidence by saying she wasn't as "fantastic" as he'd expected. Yawn. Simon picking nits like that at popular contestants is nothing new. It gives him those opportunities to deliver those popular "I was wrong about you..." applause lines later on.

Anyway, the two themes of the night were: Cold & Flu Season strikes Idol and "It's okay to show up late because we're saving the best for last." Here's how I break it down:

Ramiele, Sayesha, and Carly stand out as the very top tier.

Asia'h, Alexandrea, and Amanda would hold that respectable next tier for me.

Alaina was pretty alright, but perhaps not in the league of any of those above.

Brooke and Kady need some work in delivering a little personality along with their vocals.

Kristy, Joanne, and Amy were pretty poor tonight. Amy was the worst of the bunch. I'd guess Amy and Kristy will be the first two casualties here.

Michael Johns lead us off with "Go Your Own Way," by Fleetwood Mac. It was a weird song choice, which at times meshed with Johns' vocal stylings into something almost fresh and modern sounding, at other times reminded us he ain't no Lindsay Buckingham, and at other times - especially early in the song - left us wincing as he failed to find the right key. It was a really uneven performance which, for some reason, the judges mostly loved. Simon did criticize the song choice minorly.

Jason Castro followed with another guitar accompanied performance with Andy Gibb's "I Just Want to Be Your Everything." In yet another moment when I had to wonder what the judges were hearing, I thought this one came across really well. This one truly was updated from the soprano-like, disco era original recording into something more modern and acoustic. To borrow one of the Idol cliches he "made it his own." And then the judges proceeded to rake him over the coals. It was a bad song. His vocals only sounded good because he had the guitar. He's relying on the guitar as a crutch. No one on earth enjoyed that performance. The wife and I looked over at one another with classic WTF expressions and I started fiddling with the television sound. Had they ripped the previous guy this would maybe make some sense. But they loved that.

Luke Menard went next, somewhat bizarrely choosing "Killer Queen," by Queen. Luke needed to stand out more this week after being so forgettable last week. And that, he did. Just perhaps not for the right reasons. Killer Queen is one of those heavily stylized songs that simply can't be separated from the original. And while it was impressive that Luke could sing a song with that range at all, he didn't sing it as well as the original and, as Simon somewhat bluntly told him, it just showcased his lack of personality. Better than last week? Yeah, I'll give him that.

Robbie Carrico came on with "Hot Blooded," by Foreigner. And you know what? If being a "rocker" to him means sounding kind of like those big 70's super-groups like Foreigner or the like I'm ready to buy it because this was a sound and style that truly seemed to suit him. When I first heard the song I was expecting disaster. But Robbie really put this thing in his back pocket in a hurry and delivered a really authentic power-rock-like vocal. I was diggin' it. And more or less so were the judges; though if we could get off the epistemology regarding how one can know one is a "rocker," ever week after Robbie sings, that would be great. Mm-kay? He was semi-dinged for not having a "wow" moment.

Danny Noriega next sang "Until You Come Back to Me (That's What I'm Gonna Do)," by Stevie Wonder. Dangit, Danny! We were doing so well in avoiding Stevie Wonder songs this year. That has been a frequent rut we can fall into weeks at a time the past few seasons. Anyway, if anyone else was wondering why last week's gay Elvis suddenly looked like Jessica Alba's little sister, we gained no special insights. We did learn that, despite being a much better singer than last week displayed, a flamboyant and fabulous performer like Danny can, in fact, be boring. Which was my chief problem with this. It was a yawner. The judges warbled some syllables around saying roughly the same.

David Hernandez, who was last week's chief of the talented but forgettable, sang "Papa Was a Rollin' Stone," which Wikipedia tells me was originally by The Undisputed Truth, but everyone else remembers as a Temptations classic. Message from David to the Idol Viewers - see if you can forget THAT, suckas! This was a grade-A killer of a performance. He blew me away on this one. I think he still may have some personality problems compared to some of the others this year in the long run, but not tonight. And dayum! That dude can blow! He officially won Simon Cowell over with this one. My personal favorite of the night.

Jason Yeager got to follow with "Long Train Running," by The Doobie Brothers. I liked it at first. Then it started grating on me. I couldn't quite put my finger on why. I know I didn't like the way he kept flashing that bright toothy smile in defiance of the lyrics. "She lost her home and her family and she won't be comin' back *Smile - wink*" The guy has some talent, but I'm still struggling to see him as long for this competition. The judges basically panned him.

Chikezie (I guess we don't use the last name anymore - annoying) sang "I Believe to My Soul," by Donny Hathaway. And in doing so he basically validated what I was trying to say last week, after he turned in a cheesy love-boat lounge act. I knew this guy had talent, and he absolutely showed it in force here. This was close to David Hernandez in how much he owned the song start to finish. This was another real killer performance and among the very best of a pretty strong night. The judges all sang his praises in one way or another.

David Cook then sang "All Right Now," by Free. And in doing so cast himself as far more of the "rocker" than Robbie, so can we just leave it at that and call the issue settled? They is what they is. Idol producers will screw up the winner's marketing anyway, turning them into another studio-driven cash-cow. Anyway back to David... really solid. I'm tempted to say great, but in light of some of the really stunning vocals by others, I'll stick with "solid. I don't know that I agree with the judges that he lacks charisma. But that's apparently the line they've developed for him. Simon decided to criticize his toss-away "what don't you know about me" interview leading in. Which made no sense, but the judges were kind of in their own little world a good deal of the night.

And finally... the lights went down... a hush fell over America... and David Archuleta came out to soulfully reinterpret "Imagine," by John Lennon. And yes, yes, it was a weird and awful song choice. And yes, the lyrics remain a nauseating synthesis of sentimentalism and Marxism. But come on.. this is David freakin' Archuleta! Of course he pulled it off, and of course he left Paula in tears of ... I dunno, perhaps withdrawal from some medication or other. Anyway the praise from the judges was effusive. The audience all but stormed the stage and made him their boy-king. This kid is starting to scare me. Are we really that hungry for a teen sensation who can actually sing this year after last year's Sanjaya experience? All signs point to yes.

Best of the week: David Hernandez, Chikezie, and, of course, David Archuleta.

Worst of the Week: Jason Yeager, Danny Noriega, and maybe Luke Menard again. I know, I know, I picked two of those guys in the bottom last week and neither one left. But due to Danny Noriega's superior personality, I'm picking Jason and Luke to go.

Carly Smithson lead us off with "Crazy on You," by Heart. Heart is one of those bands I've never really liked for reasons I can't really figure out. But if you're going to do a Heart song I can get into, this is the one. And Carly sang the lights out on this one. Listening on replay it was actually even better the second time. She didn't miss a note (despite what Randy Jackson thought he heard). The power was where it was supposed to be and again, unlike a lot of the other performers, she doesn't struggle when she has to soften it up from the power notes (also despite what Randy Jackson thought he heard). Simon named her the one among the girls to beat as soon as she chooses the right song. So maybe he's never really liked Heart that much either, as she sang this one about as well as one can imagine.

Syesha Mercado came next with "Me and Mrs. Jones," by Billy Paul and eight thousand different cover artists. Syesha, Syesha, Syesha... You're one of the most beautiful, charismatic, and vocally talented in the whole competition. What the heck was this choice about? Seriously. You sang it alright, I guess. The glory note at the end seemed a bit gratuitously showy. I mean... if you wanted to belt those kind of notes out, this really wasn't the song for it. So we're back to song choice again, and I'm back to "Why?" See what you did there? Still, she didn't screw it up for what it was or anything. Simon harped on changing the gender from "Mrs." to "Mr." Jones, but I've heard that done like a kazillion times by covers before, so I don't know why he harped on that.

Brooke White next came out in a blood spattered night dress, holding a butcher knife and... no, wait... that was just my last nightmare of her. Seriously, she scares me. She actually sang, "You're So Vain," by Carly Simon. If I can get past the cutesy aspect played WAY too much afterward about how Simon was the "vain" one she was singing to, she actually did this one rather well. She accompanied herself on the guitar and I thought it added something nice to it. She has always had a rather "Carly Simon" sounding tone to her voice, so Syesha should take a few notes from her on appropriate song choices. That said, the judges loved this one, and I didn't love it. It was good though, and among the best of the night.

Ramiele Malubay then began the most disturbing trend of the night. No, not disco. We've made our peace with that theme on Idol already. It was that she sang "Don't Leave Me This Way," by Harold Melvin & The Blue Notes and seriously underperformed her performance last week. Watching the performance back again there wasn't a lot wrong with it. A little unexpected control with her pitch a couple of times, but still showing most of the talent she displayed before. It's just that she set the bar so high for herself last week this was kind of a dull, let down of a follow up. The judges sort of complimented her talent and it came out that she couldn't make up her mind on a song for this week, switching back and forth. And this was the one that came out on top?

Kristy Lee Cook followed with "You're No Good," by Betty Everett originally but really better known by Linda Ronstadt. I panned Kristy pretty well last week, but at least it was noted that she was ill for her performance then. So this was our first look at a healthy Kristy. And I will be the first to admit - this was a lot, lot better. It wasn't stunning, but she seemed a lot more confident and compelling on stage this week. She warbled her notes a couple of times, but nothing too awful. Still, only kinda a middling performance compared to others tonight. For some reason (perhaps Carrie Underwood's record sales?) they keep trying to shove this girl back into a country music box, and in their comments this week all but ordered her to do country next week.

Amanda Overmyer took the stage next with "Carry on Wayward Son," by Kansas. And if you think that sounded kind of cool in concept, as I did, you were going to be terribly disappointed, as I was. Wow. This was mostly a great big turd of a performance laid in the middle of the stage. Just not in tune, not in synch, her normal confident stage presence was replaced by a kind of wandering around the stage, and she sported a hairdo that could only recall the Bride of Frankenstein. I hope her lower register isn't always that troubled, because she really can't scream out every single note on every song and hope to win. Really down week for her. And the judges seemed almost annoyed by this fact.

Alaina Whitaker, the show's youngest youngster, next sang "Hopelessly Devoted to You," by Olivia Newton-John. I thought Alaina did pretty well last week. This week she caught the dreaded "let down" disease, and didn't do quite as well. She demonstrated some real trouble staying in tune more than once. And she was, like many others this week, really pretty boring. It's kind of a singer's song, so I didn't expect her to jump around dancing or anything. But there was just very little worth listening to here either. Even the good moments were only notable for not going off key. The judges said similar-ish things.

Alexandrea Lushington sang "If You Leave Me Now," by Chicago, which was a weird song choice to me from the beginning. But she's kind of an off-beat girl so I was willing to let her win me over with the choice. She didn't. This song just doesn't work as a solo vocal, and the background singers didn't provide the Chicago-esque vocal harmony. Plus, somewhat surprisingly, she really struggled with pitch this week as well on a vocal that wasn't really that challenging. And unlike last week's lively performance, this was delivered as a stand-in-one-spot ballad. Off-key, dreary, and poor choice. Bad combo. The judges called out the "let down from last week" theme again on her here.

Kady Malloy next went with "Magic Man," by Heart. Kady discovered something I think some of the other girls better learn pretty fast. Don't do the same artist as Carly Smithson on the same week as her. Because she'll probably out-sing you, and you'll look bas in comparison. And that was, indeed, the biggest problem here. That plus, you know, I don't much like Heart. It wasn't awful. It wasn't very interesting, or as good as the original, or very different than the original, or as good a cover as what Carly did to start the night. The judges continued to be frustrated that she's not really showing them whatever they thought they'd see when they put her into the finals.

Asia'h Epperson, after a strong performance last week, got the coveted final spot going with "All by Myself," by Eric Carmen. This was one of Clay Aiken's breakout songs in Season 2, if you've been following along. It's not easy to take a song this simple and deliver the combination of softness and power along with an emotion that doesn't come across as saccharine. How did Asia'h handle the task? Not abysmally, but still a bit of a let down. She was pretty shaky in the early parts of the song, but recovered well toward the end. It was not a flop, but not even close to a breakout performance. We learned in the judges comments that she was sick this week. So she was a week late on that theme, but didn't miss this week's "let down" theme either, so she's all caught up for next week. The judges all declared this a Celine song, which was kind of unfair since she's one of many to cover it. And then used the Holy Diva Trinity club to bash her with. "You're no Celine! *bash* How dare you attempt Celine! *smack*" It really wasn't as bad as all that. Just a let down from last week.

Okay so on to the highlights, lowlights, and picks for going home.

The highlights were, unusually for Idol, very front loaded this week. I thought Carly Smithson was the very best, and I'll give the nod to Brooke "psycho-killer" White to join her in the top tier.

Then we had a whole lot of average.

For the bottom of the night? I'd have to go with Amanda Overmyer, and Alexandrea Lushington. I like them both as performers and wouldn't really like either of them to go. But especially on seeing the replays these were the night's weakest.

Who goes home? Tough call. Amanda is popular and unique enough to maybe survive that performance. But I don't think Alexandrea is. So joining her, look for one of the "boring but competent" performers like Alaina, Kristy or Kady. Could be a stunner this week though where we lose someone expected to go much further.

GOOD:

David Archuleta, who sang, "Another Day in Paradise," by Phil Collins. The Archuleta steamroller may not have been quite as dominant this week. But if this counts as an off week for him, the others should continue to be worried, as this was still one of the top performances of the night. The starting at the piano and then standing for a vocal focus half way through was effective performance-wise also.

David Cook, who sang "Hello," by Lionel Richie. Yeah, I thought this was crazy too. I was cringing as he began it. But dayum! He made it work with an almost grunge-like arrangement. He also helped himself with one of the best self-accompaniments on guitar during his performance. This was his best performance to date.

Jason Castro performed "Hallelujah," by Leonard Cohen. Jason seems to be becoming one of those performers you either love or hate, and I'm falling on the love side. He doesn't have nearly the vocal control or skill as some of the others. But he infuses everything with such personality and individuality it sounds fresher and newer than most of the others.

Amanda Overmyer sang "I Hate Myself for Loving You," by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts. I had all but written her off after a miserable performance last week. And when I heard she was singing Joan Jett, I was sure we were about to get a miserable knock-off of "I Love Rock & Roll." Instead she came out with her former confidence back, last week's goofy hair missing, and nailed a song that was a perfect choice for her. The judges loved it, the audience loved it, and I thought it was the best of the girls that night.

Carly Smithson sang "I Drove All Night," by... Roy Orbison? That's what Wikipedia says. But I think it counted because Cyndi Lauper (?!) covered it in the 80's. Though the judges called it a Celine song (covered in 2003). Anyway Carly once again sang this one just about to perfection. Which lead to an interesting comment by Simon afterward that, opposite of some of the others on the show, she's picking songs to small for her voice. She's not getting to show off how good she really is. I quite agree with that comment. Still one of the night's best.

Brooke White sang "Love is a Battlefield," by Pat Benatar. And when I heard that I was confused. Someone had to do this song on 80's night, right? But why Brooke?! It didn't seem to suit her at all. Then they broke out this "Unplugged-like" all acoustic low-tempo arrangement, and suddenly it fit her quite well. I'm still trying to figure out if I liked the arrangement itself or not, but I very much liked the way Brooke sang it. How much so? I'm not even inserting a joke about how Brooke reminds me of someone destined to snap and go on a murderous rampage this week. That's how much.


MEH:

David Hernandez sang "It's All Coming Back to Me Now," by Pandora's Box (but again called out as a "Celine" song, because whatever the Holy Diva Trinity touches becomes theirs). I didn't know the song. I didn't much care for the song. David sang it with the skill we've become accustomed to from him. I can't recall a male successfully attempting to touch the Holy Diva Trinity before on this show, and big kudos to David for apparently pulling it off. But bland and forgettable David crept back into the stage performance also, so we had a great vocal and very boring presentation.

Michael Johns sang "Don't You (Forget About Me)," by Simple Minds. Perfect song choice. Perfect opportunity. So why was this so all over the place for him? There were some good moments. But there were at least as many warbly off key wanderings as well. It's not a challenging vocal. It's got far more to do with attitude - and it's the kind of attitude Michael has been showing since week one. This should have been one of the best of the night. And despite the judges reacting like it was as good as I expected - it totally wasn't. Not a bomb, but a serious letdown of reality compared to potential.

Chikezie sang "All the Woman That I Need," by.... well this one gets dicey. It's on 80's week, so we assume we're talking about the "All the Man That I Need" version by Whitney Houston. But this was clearly the Luther Vandross arrangement from the 90's. Meh... whatever. Chikezie sang it very well, but didn't Idol go through it's "Velvet Teddybear" phase with Ruben Studdard a few years back? This was almost exactly like the kind of performance Ruben mailed in week after week after week in Season 2. In other words, there wasn't really anything wrong with it. He sang it well. I just have this whole "we've already seen this act" feeling about it. Maybe unfair, but that's my call.

Asia'h Epperson sang "I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Who Loves Me)," by Whitney Houston. In a week chock-full of singers daring the wrath of the judges by singing the Divas this was perhaps the most destined to fall short. Asia'h had attempted Celine once and got smacked around pretty good by the judges for the attempt. This time she got past Randy and Paula alright... but Simon unloaded a mostly accurate remark about how she came across like a "second rate Whitney." Which was true. In every respect of her performance she sounded "smaller" than the original. And she did nothing different with the arrangement so you couldn't help but notice.

Kristy Lee Cook sang "Faithfully," by Journey. Very difficult not to get Randy Jackson's approval when you go with Journey. But he hasn't been the harshest this year anyway. The interesting thing here was how Kristy obeyed the judge's command from last week (they put it so sternly it was hardly a request) and "countrified" the vocal on this. I never would have thought of this song in that way, but it really worked quite well. Kady had a little trouble vocally in a couple of spots, but nothing glaring. A little on the dull performance side. Quite an improvement for her over the past couple of weeks though.

Ramiele Malubay sang "Against All Odds (Take a Look at Me Now)," by Phil Collins. Of all the singers who took on the big Divas this week, Ramiele with one of the best voices in the competition went with Phil freakin' Collins?! That seemed a little underwhelming. She also started the thing totally sharp. She corrected it, but when you power into sharp notes like that it has a fingernails on the blackboard effect, and gives me trouble relaxing again in time to enjoy what comes next. She ended up giving a "nice but nothing special" performance. As the judges have remarked, her confidence has seemed lacking the past couple of weeks, and it would be nice to see it come back.

Syesha Mercado sang "Saving All My Love for You," by Marilyn McCoo (but really by Whitney Houston, blessed be her name). Does Syesha have big enough vocals to attempt Whitney? Yes she does. Did she flub any of the notes? No she didn't. So why isn't she in my "good" category? Because this was a total copycat of the Whitney recording. She didn't do anything original with it. I mean... she has the voice and the personality. When does she being them together and start to make a statement more daring than "Watch me do Whitney Houston"? It was good. But we've heard it just like this for years.


IN TROUBLE:

Luke Menard sang "Wake Me Up Before You Go Go," by Wham! Do you want some evidence that George Michael is more talented than you remember? Watch Luke try to sing this song. He couldn't match the energy, find many of the notes, or put the power in where it belonged. And for all his other difficulties, Luke is a pretty good singer. However I honestly don't think Luke was as good as some of the others already gone, and I don't see how this performance keeps him afloat.

Danny Noriega sang "Tainted Love," by Gloria Jones (but better remembered as an '80s hit by Soft Cell). Wow. Way to ruin one of my favorite songs from the 80's Danny. This was a bad song choice for him to begin with, but he should have at least been able to find the notes. As he has now screwed up the 60's, the 70's and the 80's in consecutive weeks I'm running out of any enthusiasm for keeping him around. He's become all affectation and sassy banter, and the singing is getting worse rather than better.

Kady Malloy sang "Who Wants to Live Forever," by Queen. Word to the Idol contestants... it's obvious they have made a lot of the Queen song catalog available to you this year. Don't pick them. Freddy Mercury was a truly original talent with a positively freaky vocal range. I know you like these songs, but sing something else. Thank you. Now back to Kady... ugh. She seemed almost asleep through much of the song and conveyed that same feeling to the audience. The vocal wasn't awful, but was hardly compelling. The things the judges keep saying about her lack of personality on stage is becoming truer every week, and she is clearly clueless what they're talking about.

This leaves an obvious problem, as I find only one girl named in my "In Trouble" category, and two are going to be kicked off tonight. Obviously I'm picking Luke, Danny, and Kady to go. But who else?

I would have to say Asia'h is the most likely to join them. I don't think it's necessarily fair, but of all the Whitney impersonators last night, she missed the mark the clearest.

Amanda Overmyer:
Randy says: By far, the best L-M song for her is Badfinger’s “Come and Get It,” but “Come Together” is a possibility.
Doug says: Alright, the Badfinger one isn't bad. But Come Together would have us longing for another Kansas performance, and we all remember how ear-covering that was. A power-blues arrangement of "Helter Skelter" would be far better.

Chikezie:
Randy says: He should dial it down — again — with a smooth rendition of “Yesterday.”
Doug says: He should avoid anything too nostalgic because that makes him go all lounge-singy and hit us instead with a soulful arrangement of "Don't Let Me Down."

Kristy Lee Cook:
Randy says: I’m having trouble picking a tune for her, but let’s go with “A Day in the Life.”
Doug says: Yeah... you really are having trouble, because that choice totally sucks. She should ignore you and go with something simple an melodic like "I'll Follow The Sun."

Syesha Mercado:
Randy says: Let’s go against type with “Revolution.”
Doug says: Hey Randy, go against type yourself and make a good suggestion, eh? Syesha should pull out something to show off her originality. I shudder to think what a bad arrangement could do, but a good arrangement of "Day Tripper" would do the trick.

Ramiele Malubay:
Randy says: She could shine with a sweet ballad such as “She’s Leaving Home.”
Doug says: Ramiele's problem lately is she keeps picking second tier songs with a top tier voice. This is the one who should dare to go with the universally known "Yesterday."

David Hernandez:
Randy says: His dramatic flair could be put to good use on “Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds.”
Doug says: His exit from the competition would be quickly paved with those diamonds. He should pick something simple he could stylize and show off with. "Get Back" would be my pick for him.

David Cook:
Randy says: I’d love to hear his take on “Magical Mystery Tour,” a` la the Cheap Trick version.
Doug says: This guy just won over a ton of skeptics last week by doing his own unique version of a Lionel Richie song. Last thing he needs is to go derivative. I want to hear the David Cook version of "Hey Jude."

Jason Castro:
Randy says: I could easily see him do “A World Without Love,” an L-M song written for Peter and Gordon, or “Across the Universe.”
Doug says: His charm and ability to make the old sound fresh tells me he should be looking at the early L-M songbook, and pick something like "Ticket to Ride." But I'd really like to hear him do "In My Life."

Carly Smithson:
Randy says: She’s got a “Ticket to Ride,” but do I care?
Doug says: Obviously you don't Randy, because that choice doesn't make any sense at all. Carly needs a song to show off her vocal skill and the L-M songbook can do that, but it takes a different arrangement. You know what would be cool? Carly choosing "With a Little Help From My Friends" and getting a Joe Cocker-like vocal show off arrangement.

Brooke White:
Randy says: Tonight, it has to be an acoustic version of ”Eleanor Rigby.”
Doug says: She can't go all acoustic every week, Randy. Sheesh, ever watched the show? That said she'd be great with a simple melodic song like "Blackbird."

Michael Johns:
Randy says: He could work it out on “We Can Work It Out.”
Doug says: No he couldn't. But he could work it out on something like "Lady Madonna."

David Archuleta:
Randy says: I know the judges have told him to stop doing ballads, but “The Long and Winding Road” would be prophetic.
Doug says: Alright, that choice doesn't suck either, but people will get tired of him if he keeps doing ballads every week. A better choice would be something fun that makes people catch his infectious smile. I'll suggest "Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da."

See you in the recaps.

Syesha Mercado lead us off with "Got To Get You Into My Life." It's a cute song. She went with something like the Earth, Wind, and Fire arrangement. And I found it pretty dull, really. She came out and sang it well, as usual. In previous Idol seasons this would have been easily good enough. But this season? There's a lot more interesting talent on display than "pretty girl who doesn't miss any notes." To borrow a Randy phrase it was "just a'ight." I think she needed a bit more than that.

Who chose the best song: Me - I said "Day Tripper" because she needed to stand out more. I'm even more convinced of that now than before.

Next up was Chikezie, who sang "She's a Woman." Let me start off by saying I thought Chikezie was destined to stay in the "soul" niche. Let me further add I thought he was pretty good in that niche and flirting with disaster if he left it. Let me further add Chikezie proved me wrong with this performance. The arrangement was nothing if not daring. He started out with a cornpone jug-band type intro, which lead into a full-blown rocker. Nothing Chikezie had shown me to this point suggested any of that was a good idea for him. But it totally worked, and he totally owned it. I was taken aback by how good he was here. Original, powerful, and fun all at once. Not just the best Chikezie performance so far... one of the whole season's best so far.

Who chose the best song: Chikezie knew best, obviously.

Ramiele Mulabay followed with "In My Life." It's a pretty song, given to low key interpretive performances. And Ramiele delivered one. Big problem: that's not where Ramiele really stands out in this field. Not unlike Sayesha, you couldn't really fault her singing here. This was all about choosing something that could really show off what's special about you. Like Sayesha, Ramiele didn't do it here. There are some big and original talents bubbling up all over this top twelve. Originally it looked like Ramiele might be one of them. Increasingly she's looking like a middle of the pack, largely forgettable good singer.

Who chose the best song: Me - I said her problem is she keeps choosing second tier songs that don't show off her top tier voice and advised her to go with "Yesterday" to break that mold. She didn't, and it hurt her.

Jason Castro hit the stage next, accompanying himself on guitar again and singing, "If I Fell." It was an understated acoustic heavy arrangement, not too far off the original. Jason demonstrated his ample charm and personality, as well as a better command of falsetto than we'd heard from him in the past. That said, I mostly liked this because I like Jason's style. He didn't take any big risks or do anything especially different here. He's got an advantage over Sayesha and Ramiele in standing out from the pack more than they can by just being himself. But, to riff on a Simonism, "If I'm being honest," this was really just okay. I liked it. It was worth a replay. But it wasn't among the night's best.

Who chose the best song: Me - I know Ramiele picked it, but I still think Jason would have gotten something truly memorable out of "In My Life."

Carly Smithson followed with "Come Together." And if you just shuddered reading that, so did I when I heard she was going to do it. But, thankfully, the arrangement forced it out of being nightmarish and into making good sense. Not only that, but Carly actually showed more than a little ability to do the "rocker-girl" thing. Idol tells us she and Amanda are sharing an apartment now, so is that having an influence? If so it's a good one. This performance really worked on every level. Looking uncannily like Grace Slick in her prime, she knocked out a Patti Smyth-like vocal. All that vocal power and control she'd displayed previously was put to perfect use here to open up a knew and harder side of her personality. This one was right up there with Chikezie as a stunner and one of the night's best.

Who chose the best song: Carly, naturally. I had the right idea for style, but she picked a more original song to do it with.

David Cook came up next, eschewing the guitar for the week and singing "Eleanor Rigby." Am I the only one finding David quickly rising as a potential dark horse winner? Apparently not because Paula and Simon both said as much after watching this. I admit, initially I was a little bored by this as it was another hard-rock arrangement much like anyone might have expected. On the other hand, Daughtry-like, he's starting to really fill that niche well. About half way through the song he'd totally won me over. Among those who grabbed onto a great song selection to truly shine, I'd have to count David among them. No, it wasn't a new side we'd never seen before. It was just darn good and memorable on its own terms.

Who chose the best song: I'll give David the nod based on how well he did. I'd still like to hear him do something with "Hey, Jude" though.

Brooke White was next, singing "Let It Be." Okay I'll confess... I didn't have one vision of Brooke's scariness watching her this week. Is her sweetness actually winning me over? Or am I being set up for a "Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction" kind of shocker? I guess this week I'll just... Let it Be. Ha! Oh, right, the performance.... Good. Really very good actually. In most any other week I might have deemed it the very top. But there were a LOT competing for that this week, so she can join the club. She accompanied herself on piano again this week, and was able to use it to convey a kind of casual soulfulness and sincerity which is where she has always shined. The season's biggest crier... she was in tears just at the end of the song... and darned if that didn't make for an effective emotional closing. Not unlike David Cook, she's impressing me a lot more than I ever thought she would. Suggestion to Syesha and Ramiele: Study Brooke's performance this week compared to your own. You each sang the notes better than she did. Yet she still outsang you. Figure out what I mean there, and you should get back on track.

Who chose the best song: Hard to second guess her on this one, but I'd still like to see how she handled "Blackbird." I'll call it a toss-up.

David Hernandez followed with "I Saw Her Standing There." It was a weird choice, as David's thing is a big show-offy voice, and this just isn't that kind of song. And yet... David tried to make it one, which only lead to it sounding like some kind of theme park arrangement. It didn't suck, but it was a little silly. Actually more than a little. It was almost like coming out and doing a Diva interpretation of "Old MacDonald." There were plenty of songs available that DO include some real opportunities to open up the vocal range and show off. This wasn't at all one of them, and no one was fooled.

Who chose the best song: Heck, just about everyone chose better that David. I suggested "Get Back," which is what David will be lucky to do after the voting this week.

Amanda Overmeyer gave us a little palate cleanser next doing a very Janis Joplin-like take on, "You Can't Do That." Secret message from Amanda to the "Vote for the Worst" kids "Suck it!" This is the second week in a row where Amanda has just come out and let her rocker-thing hang out, and the second week in a row where she was terrific because of it. It might have sounded even better last night coming on the heels of David Hernandez overly-ornamented laugher. But even watching the replay this was a rock-solid performance. Unless you hate Amanda's style, and some probably do, this was exactly what she needed to do.

Who chose the best song: I'll defer to Amanda here as she sang this one as well or better than anything I imagined with my "Helter Skelter" recommendation.

Michael Johns came next with "Across the Universe." I like the song. I was a little surprised to hear Michael choose it, as it seemed a little "ballady" and I've never thought of him as that kind of singer. Yet that's exactly the arrangement he went with, and the performance style he chose. So... good for changing up the expectations and showing off another facet of himself. The downside? He's really not that great a ballad-style singer. It was another "solid" performance. It certainly shouldn't have him worried about getting booted or anything. But this will not be one we remember from him as the season goes on.

Who chose the best song: Me all the way here, for suggesting the far more lively "Lady Madonna."

Kristy Lee Cook got the penultimate position of the evening doing an aggressively countrified version of "8 Days a Week." Kristy, Kristy, Kristy... The judges were correct in pointing you in a country direction, as your voice really shines in that style. But they were thinking more "Carrie Underwood" not "Hee-Haw." It really doesn't matter how well she sang this one... which was well enough I guess. The problem was the hoe-down arrangement itself which was so over-the-top country as to be laughable. Seriously, this stripped David Hernandez of the award for the night's most comically bad arrangement. Talk about a lost opportunity! Any number of these songs would sound amazing with the kind of light-country edge Kristy put on her Journey song last week. No one else in the whole field is that kind of singer, so it would have stood out perfectly well with out the need for something so exaggerated. this was so awful I was actually feeling sorry for her before it ended. And when it did end even Paula couldn't find one of her made-up words to praise it.

Who chose the best song: Me by ten thousand percent. "I'll Follow the Sun," wouldn't have lent itself to such arrangement butchery even if you tried.

On the biggest of big nights this season David Archuleta, the golden child of the season, got the coveted closing spot singing, "We Can Work It Out." The song choice was disappointing before he even began, as there are so many better songs he could have gone with. Really the thing that makes that song interesting is the harmony, which is kind of difficult to convey in a solo performance. Even when you remember the lyrics, which David didn't. Oops. Okay so David proved that he is actually not a super-advanced entertainment android, but in fact a seventeen year old kid, as the nerves seemed to finally hit him this week. Oh, he wasn't awful. Just awfully amateurish compared to so many of the others tonight. David can rest assured that he's just too darn popular to fear getting the boot with so many left in the field. But he certainly can't thank his performance itself for any security this week as he surprisingly turned in one of the night's weakest.

Who chose the best song: Me. "Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da," would have sounded better and it has some nonsense sounds built in to cover up word forgettage.

So let's sum up the night. There were a whole lot of good performances tonight, and a handful of really excellent ones. Only a couple of true clunkers, and those more due to arrangement than performance. Best top twelve ever? Believe the hype.

Tops of the night in my book go to Chikezie (surprise!), Carly (no surprise!), David Cook (becoming less surprising!), Brooke White (sweet surprise!), and Amanda Overmyer (effin' surprise!).

And heck... since that's almost half the field I might as well name the next I'd stick in the upper-half category, though a step down from those above... Jason Castro.

Bottom of the night would have to be between arrangement casualties David Hernandez and Kristy Lee Cook, and a suddenly nervous David Archuleta.

Rounding out that bottom group, I'd rate Michael Johns strongest of the remaining lot, and Sayesha and Ramiele more or less tied below him.

But none of that tells us who's going home, as we now lose one and only one contestant each week. So who do I think is likely to get the heave-ho?

Sorry David Hernandez, but I'm thinking it's you. Kristy is more likable for superficial reasons, and she's still the only one in her country niche. And no one seriously thinks one bad performance can derail the Archuleta Express. But I wouldn't be too comfortable if I was Sayesha or Ramiele this week either. Their talent is fine, but they're becoming surprisingly forgettable in a personality-strong field. Still... David H. is my pick to go this week.

First a quick reaction to last week's elimination: told you so! Now on to this week...

Amanda Overmyer lead us off with "Back in the U.S.S.R." It's a whimsical song, combining Bryan Wilson's distinctive "Beach Boys" sound with intentionally ironic lyrics lauding the imagined beauty of the almost entirely gray and unattractive women under the former Soviet empire, which is itself a parody of the Beach Boys' song "California Girls." Did Amanda understand any of that? Not as far as it showed. I loved her last week. This week she delivered what I can only describe as a formulaic approach which she could apply to pretty much any song you slap in front of her. It had the rocker shouting. And the driving beat. And the prowling the stage. And nothing you haven't seen before. The only original takes it took in the arrangement were to drive all the humor and fun out of it. She might as well have been singing lyrics like "Bagels taste pretty good to me," or "In 13th century Belgrade, stuff happened." It wouldn't have mattered. She was just shouting stuff with no interest in whatever it might mean. Otherwise a totally average Amanda performance.

Stupidest judge comment: Randy Jackson "This is a perfect song choice for you."

Kristy Lee Cook came next with a MUCH better song choice this week in "You've Got to Hide Your Love Away." Last week she was a total arrangement casualty, doing the Hee-haw version of a well known tune. This week? This week we avoided Hee-haw... in favor of Riverdance. I'm serious... it had everything you see in Riverdance - including her outfit - except the clogging, and I kept expecting that to break out any minute. Does Ricky Minor hate this girl or something? I'm having trouble even focusing on her singing at all due to the absurdity of these arrangements. That said, the singing was boring and off key in places. I know a lot of people like this girl, but how long can she survive like this?

Cleverest judge comment: Simon Cowell "It's like musical wallpaper."

David Archuleta descended from teen-beat heaven to grace us with "The Long and Winding Road" next. I think R-Five picked this one for him in the comments section last week, and it certainly suited him perfectly. The good: Well it was a very good performance of a classic song that well suited his voice and catered to all his strengths. The bad: It was the very definition of the word "safe." We already knew everything about David Archuleta this performance showed us. Obviously he was intent on digging himself out of the slight hole his underwhelming performance last week created. And this definitely did that. In fact, on a night when the rest of the field was below their average, this stands out as one of the best. That being said... that's only because the rest of the field performed below average. Good? Yes, undeniably. Interesting? Not really. Past Idol contestant it most resembled: Clay Aiken - who Simon would have ripped for delivering this same performance.

Stupidest judge comment: Paula Abdul "This probably, for me, is the most exciting and wonderful performance because the purity of who you are and what your sound is is very identifiable."

Michael Johns followed with "A Day in the Life." It was a risk in part because the song is both well known and rather long. And this week the Idolateers were confined to 90 second performances... have to get in those product placements and commercials after all. 90 seconds times 11 contestants means (calculating) ... about 7.3 percent of the 2 hour show consisted of actual singing. Could they have maybe sprung for 10 percent? Would that much kill the franchise? Anyway... once you got past the extreme compression of the song arrangement, I actually liked this one. It very much worked for me this week. Last week the judges praised him to the skies when I thought he totally missed the mark. This week they tore him to pieces over a performance I found among the better of the night. Despite his typical difficulty finding the right notes at times, he was cool and composed and, contra Amanda this week, seemed to convey a lot of the meaning and emotion behind the lyrics - compressed though they were as we have already noted, and despite seeming to forget them near the end of the song. In a down week for most everyone it made little sense to me that this was one of the performances they singled out as especially awful.

Stupidest judge comment: All - the moment they started speaking until they wisely shut up again.

Brooke White went next with "Here Comes the Sun," opening the song book into George Harrison territory. At first I thought this was a pretty good song choice for her. Then she proved me horribly, horribly wrong. Brooke was back to creeping me out by smiling so much she HAD to be covering some horrible psycho-killer tendencies (bringing to mind a really cool Idol theme that will never be: Talking Heads week). And, you know, a five year old who chose to focus completely on the "sun" imagery in the song by dressing in yellow and acting all "sunny" in her awkward movement would be cute. In Brooke? It was like "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane," meeting "I Married an Axe Murderer." And she axe murdered the song vocally at times too, keeping in theme. Seriously, she started delivering it sitting on the stairs in a nice subdued manner... then her pitch started to wander... then... the hell of a thousand suns exploded on stage. Icky.

Most surreal judge comment: Simon "It was wet."

David Cook changed things up a bit next with "Day Tripper." If David Cook intends to make us hate the other contestants a bit more each week by providing a sharp contrast, he's doing a nice job of it. If he actually means to win this thing, he needs to suck up to Simon more and maybe drink the blood of David Archuleta in some act of Idol vampirism. That aside, far and away the best of the night here. FAR and away. He claimed to be copying the White Snake arrangement of the song, but he actually broke out the Peter Frampton voice box near the end which lead to me yelling to the television "David Cook comes Alive!" Total awesome sauce. Wildly unnecessary and over the top in all the best senses of those things. And he continues to accompany himself on electric guitar not just as a gimmick - but to do it well, and perform better because of it. Simon freaked the hell out on him in his comments for absolutely no reason other than Simon's own ego, which is hardly a new thing. This was leagues better than David Archuleta's previous Simon-dubbed "master class," despite holding fewer marketing opportunities for the Idol empire to franchise later on.

Stupidest judge comment: Simon "You looked a bit smug throughout." (*gasp* A sneering rocker! whoever heard of such a thing?!)

Carly Smithson followed a hard to follow act with "Blackbird." This was a week when Brooke and Carly should have traded songs. Not so much because Carly did this one poorly as her song choice hardly mattered, considering the way she stylized and sang it. And it might have rescued Brooke from her solarcide of a performance. Anyway... Carly chose this one to show off the strength of her lower register she said. And it did. But I guess I didn't realize she hadn't shown it off before because I've praised her for it a couple of times previously. I guess by this she meant "I won't even USE the upper range of which I am capable this week." If so... um... why? Carly's hook in this field is that she has a fabulously good voice with incredible range. That and the tattoos, I guess. Any week she doesn't show it is a week she loses a little distinction. So... despite being a perfectly good singing performance, this one left me underwhelmed and wanting more. That said... the judges were again way off base here, and I'm wondering if the sound in that new studio has them hearing what is actually being broadcast. Simon went into a little hissy fit about the song choice being "indulgent," which didn't even make sense in the context of his own commentary. Really on any objective basis Carly and David Cook are delivering some of the best performances and getting the back of Simon's hand more regularly than anything that can be remotely justified.

Stupidest judge comment: Randy "Cooliosis!"

Jason Castro followed with the night's weirdest song choice in "Michelle." Jason doesn't speak French. Much of the song's lyrics are in French. He put in a lot of effort learning how to pronounce them properly. Wouldn't that effort have been better served being channeled into the performance itself? This one the judges actually pegged right. I like Jason a lot, but he was totally cruising on his charm alone on this one. Luckily for him his charm is considerable so he should remain safe because nothing about this performance save for his serviceable pronunciation of French lyrics was very notable. Last week was pretty much everything I like about Jason delivered in a not terribly memorable fashion. This week it was almost everything I don't like about him... the pitch problems; the way he struggles in stage presentation without his guitar; the lack of much vocal power or control... but, luckily this time, still not very memorable. I don't know why he struggles so much with Beatles songs. So many seem like such natural fits for him, yet I can't help thinking he's glad they're over. I'm glad he's over doing them anyway.

Most unexpectedly accurate judge comment: Paula "It was an intimate song that became more like a polka."

Syesha Mercado came out next singing "Yesterday." In a week where the intro-video theme was "most memorable Idol moment so far," Syesha chose last week's appearance in the bottom three. I thought she looked obviously pissed off about that whole thing, and she just confirmed it in a big way. I thought she had some fight in her, and I'm glad to see it coming out at last. Yesterday is the most covered Beatles song ever, and is available in almost any arrangement you could ask for. Syesha asked for something soft and subdued with Diva power notes. Much like David A., she was running home to her safe zone. Also much like him, she knocked it out of the park. Unlike David A. though, Syesha truly needed this because her continual lack of a personality spark despite her obvious talent is threatening an early booting. Anyway there was very little to criticize here. Vocally flawless. Atypically (for her so far) earnest and approachable. One of the night's best, even if perhaps not much of a standout in the context of the whole season. But it was definitely the performance she needed.

Stupidest judge comment: Randy "You took some liberties, you worked on the melody, changed some things around a little bit." (In other words there was a song arrangement Randy?)

Chikezie, who arguably had the best and certainly had the most surprising performance last week, followed with "I've Just Seen A Face." It was a strange choice, but no stranger than last week, and he knocked that one out of the park. So I was interested to see what he'd do with it. He did country with it. Chikezie. Did country. With a Beatles song. This was not one of those "Your peanut butter is on my chocolate" moments of delightfully serendipitous blending. It was just... well I can't even say it was bad. It was thoroughly weird and not in a good way though. Like something I'd imagine you might see from Luther Vandros after snorting a lot of coke at a wild party thrown by Willie Nelson. Oh, he also played the harmonica at one point and that was bad. It was like he tried to recapture everything surprising, energetic, and fun about his performance last week and badly failed in an effort to top himself. Would have been far better had he just moved on. It was not the night's worst. It definitely was the night's strangest. If "memorable" is a good thing no matter why, he should be VERY safe this week.

Truest judge comment: Simon "I actually thought it was ... gimmicky."

Ramiele Mulabay received the much coveted (and in her case needed) closing spot, choosing to perform, "I Should Have Known Better." Wait a minute... huh?! She chose WHAT?! Out of one of the most treasured and diverse song catalogs in the history of music she chose a mostly obscure up-tempo early number without much vocal range to show off... well just about every one of her weaknesses it seems. Ramiele is at home as a classic Idol diva balladeer, but for whatever reason she doesn't seem to see herself this way. Ever since her very strong opening performance she's been sinking into mediocrity, and the sinking continued this week. The judges kept most of the cliches locked up this week, so I'll spring it out for them: This was a theme park performance. Bubbly, aimless, with random moments when a nice note was hit and held but nothing compelling pulling it together in a way you'd expect in a real star. I'm officially starting the Ramiele departure watch, because this is no longer a fluke but a solid trend: Ramiele has a great voice but seemingly has no idea how to use it well to compete. She took the coveted "pimp slot" closing the show and completely botched the opportunity. She's not likely to get another before leaving.

So let's sum up the night... Mostly meh, with a dose of blegh. We did have a couple of bright spots. But the average of the night was definitely below average in a typical week.

Tops of the night? David Cook, David Cook, up yours Simon, and David Cook.

Also strong were David Archuleta, Syesha Mercado and Carly Smithson.

Michael Johns wasn't as good as the above, but better than those about to be mentioned next.

Amanda Overmyer, and Jason Castro are lucky there were so many other bad performances this week.

Kristy Lee Cook and Chikezie competed for worst arrangement, with Kristy winning "dullest" and Chikezie winning "weirdest."

Ramiele was most forgettable of the night.

Brooke White was something I just want to forget forever after.

That being said, it's a tricky week to pick who might be going home. If it was just based on this one performance it should be Brooke. But it's not based on just that and therefore I don't even expect her in the bottom three.

I think Ramiele, Amanda, and Kristy are headed for an all-girl bottom three, and Kristy is finally headed out the door. She's got some talent, but isn't quite ready for the big time yet. And as noted earlier, the song arranger hates her.

Next week is... Something other than the Beatles. And as much as I like the songs, that's a good thing.

UPDATE: The Results!

Well I was right about a couple of my predictions. It was indeed an all girl bottom three. I picked 2 of the 3 that were in it. And the one who left was one of those, and even though it wasn't the one I thought would go tonight, I sort of saw her run winding down in the next couple of weeks, so not a big shocker.

Pleasant surprise of the evening, Kellie Pickler looks and sounds better than she used to, and remains pretty hilarious and charming in her improved reality-show "I'm a country girl" banter with the camera. And her new single doesn't even suck. Good for her. Still couldn't take seeing that act several weeks in a row again. Some wounds heal slowly.

Anyway the shocker of the bottom three was that Carly Smithson was in it and/or Ramiele Malubay was not, depending on your perspective. I didn't expect either one to head home this week and neither one did. But I also certainly didn't expect Carly to get so close, nor Ramiele to so clearly avoid that brush with Idol death. Let's see if Carly responds to this like Sayesha did (she hit the bottom threee last week if you recall). If so, that could be pretty awesome.

Anyway Amanda and Kristy were paired off for the official booting. And unexpectedly it was Amanda, rather than Kristy, who got the heel delivered swiftly into her rump.

Kristy deserves another shot so she can finally sing to a decent arrangement, but I was a little surprised she got that chance. I thought Amanda's personality was strong enough to save her for a couple more weeks. But really, after last night this writing was pretty much on the wall. The fact that I won't really miss her next week even though I basically like her says it all. We've seen the act, and there just doesn't seem to be a lot more too it.

Ramiele Mulabay started us off tonight. This was an ominous sign for a contestant I officially put on "death watch" a couple of weeks ago, as the lead off slot is always a danger to the forgettable. She sang "Alone," by Heart. It's a decent song. She should have been able to nail it vocally; though it continues her streak of having no freaking clue what kind of singer she's trying to be. Still, Ramiele has that unexpectedly great big voice in that tiny little body so she should be... wait a minute... where the hell is her pitch wandering? That's not where that... OW! Did she really just belt that power note off key? Yes, tonight Ramiele was having a few vocal problems. In the judging round Paula tried to persuade us all she was dying of a lethal combination of Yellow Fever and Tuberculosis. But Ramiele ditched that by giggling and telling us she felt fine, but her voice just "left her." I hope the Phillipino community lit up the phone lines for her last night in survival mode, or that's not the only thing that will be leaving this week.

Jason Castro came next, singing "Fragile" by Sting. I'm not a huge Sting fan, mostly over the bitterness about what might have been had he not broken up the Police to indulge his massive ego in schmaltzy modern jazz arrangements and incoherent appeals to save the rain forest. But I left that aside for Jason's sake. Jason was self accompanying in acoustic guitar again, which is when he's at his best despite what the judges tell him. And while I was hardly blown away by this performance it was solidly good. I kept hoping he would do something memorable with it which never came though. His style has this way of ratcheting up the emotional tension, and he could just slay people if he found a way to use that to deliver some kind of break-through "punchline." The power-diva singers use their high-octave arias and power notes to do that. That's not Jason's style. But I wish he could find something, because that's the only element he's missing at the moment. Simon is having trouble thinking he's serious about the competition because Simon is old and thinks dreadlocks equals stoner, which is like... so 80's.

Syesha Mercado was next with "If I Were Your Woman," by Stephanie Mills. Initial thoughts: Syesha has gone from one of the most memorable and talented to struggling to stay in the running by singing well but being surprisingly dull. It's not her singing but her performances that are killing her. And so... She sang this one very, very well. It was a star quality vocal. That being said... I have this sneaking suspicion that was completely not the performance she needed to deliver. She needed to change things up and make people reassess her in a new way. Idol history is littered with talented diva-style singers who just never connected. Remember Latoya London? Lisa Tucker? Stephanie Edwards? Probably not. That's Syesha's problem too at the moment.

Chikezie hit us next with a little Luther Vandross, singing "If Only For One Night." And while I was glad to hear him breaking away from the frenetic "must top myself with crazy arrangement" mode from last week, there was a danger here he openly acknowledged... the judges have warned him he gets very dull when he tries this style. Which is kind of true, even though his voice is totally suited for it. And guess what? He sang this one to perfection. And it was indeed a little dull. Somewhere between frantically scrambling to blow us away with the unexpected and this kind of vocal is Chikezie's sweet spot. I would love to see him find it before he's booted off the show. But as for this... I would call it "solid." Not especially praiseworthy in any other sense.

Next up was Brooke White, singing "Every Breath You Take," by the Police. Have I mentioned that Brooke reminds me disturbingly of the Glenn Close character in Fatal Attraction? I have? Oh... well then why did she have to pick a song with stalker lyrics?! Seriously! I'm going to have nightmares over this! Anyway this was the night's first officially interesting arrangement, decomposing the original into more of an acoustic piano thingy. The band did join in about half way through, but the piano remained the focus, which is Brooke at her best so no complaints on principle. The complaint is that it just wasn't all that great as either arrangement or performance. It didn't suck. It just... wandered. The judges suggested she should have stuck with the solo piano style with no band she started with. Watching it back I have to agree a thousand percent. That part was excellent. The rest.... meh. I still think Brooke has moved up to a top tier competitor over others like Syesha and Ramiele. Because she's different and interesting. And scary (to me at least).

Michael Johns followed with a classic Queen medley of "We Will Rock You," and "We Are the Champions." Okay first of all I HATE when contestants do medley arrangements period. That being said, this was actually released as a medley in the original with one song leading into the other. Secondly, I find it disturbing that so many contestants are picking Queen songs this year, as they're not very suitable to this kind of show. That being said, Michael at least made no attempt to do a Freddy Mercury style vocal, which would be horrendous to listen to. Just be mindful that this choice violated two major points of contention for me before the performance even began. The verdict? Excellent performance with a powerful yet wandering vocal. On a recording this would sound awful. As live performance it worked pretty well. Michael has some of the best stage presence of all the contestants, and he certainly won the judges over with it. They just gushed all over him in ways I think went well beyond what he deserved. Still... a pretty good week for Michael.

Carly Smithson was next with "Total Eclipse of the Heart," by Bonnie Tyler. This is a classic song, and I thought it was a perfect choice for Carly the second it started. That said... I expected something... I dunno... more, from it. She hit a lot of the parts I thought she'd do well very nicely. But... something was lacking. And there was this completely unnecessary and over-the-top power note thrown in at the end, where I would have MUCH preferred her to show how she can take it down from power to soft and understated, which is part of the charm of the original arrangement. Anyway, we expect a good vocal from Carly and we got it. But both Randy and Simon noticed something missing here that neither could put their finger on any better than me. Randy thought maybe it was the wrong style of song, which I totally disagree with. Simon thought she was too tense, which may be true but is beside the point. Anyway... good enough to keep her I hope, because she's still an amazing talent.

And then the heavens opened and David Archuleta descended to the stage singing "You're the Voice," by John Farnham. And no, I had never heard of it before either. And yes, there's probably a reason as it was a pretty dull and saccharine kind of song. And for the second time in recorded history the Archuleta Express hit the brakes. This was not lousy like the last time he stumbled. It was... boring. David Archuleta can be boring?! Apparently so. Next you'll tell me he's mortal in other ways too. Really it was just the performance of a talented kid belting out a boring song with pretty good vocal range and control. Nothing memorable about it at all for this stage of the competition. Simon Cowell took the opportunity to make a rare criticism of the wunderkind, calling it a "theme park" performance. I merely yawned.

Then Kristy Lee Cook convinced us she was freaking tired of hitting the bottom group, by making the most calculated and vote-whoring song selection in Idol history with "God Bless the USA," by Lee Greenwood. Say what you want about this girl... she's not stupid. Does it really matter how well she sang it? I suppose it should be mentioned. She sang it basically alright. Nothing special. A few properly countrified trills in there, but nothing too over the top there. Since her fan base is mostly the country crowd in the first place, and since patriotism goes over like gangbusters there, Kristy was a lock to remain on the show the moment the song was announced. I was wondering if the judges would even dare to criticize this one. The answer was simply no - including Simon, who seemed almost stunned by the cleverness of the song choice itself much as I was.

David Cook finally got the coveted pimp slot, closing the show with "Billie Jean," by Michael Jackson. Yes THAT Billie Jean, by THAT Michael Jackson. And no... if you missed the show you really never have heard this song before, no matter what you think. This was not a song arrangement. This was a song re-invention. I read this morning that it was an arrangement by Chris Cornell, but I can't be alone in never having heard it previously. David used it to deliver something darker, deeper, and more tender than the original all within a hard rock sound that we're beginning to realize is well beyond some Chris Daughtry impersonation. This was a total stunner. Every Idol season has a few truly outstanding "breakthrough" moments. David had already shown us one when he did his rearrangement of Lionel Richie's "Hello." Now he had an even bigger one with this week's performance. This was in fact one of the best performances in Idol history. I